Beware: The Chibis Have Taken Control!

OK, so this post is for one very specific reason, because I'm DYING over here and I still want to share this with everyone I know, and I have no doubt that tumblr's filtering system would throw a shit fit over it. So. XD

For those goyim among you, one of the traditions of the Passover Seder (large meal + service held the first or first two nights of Passover) is the Seder Plate. There are six items that go on this Seder Plate: Matzah, Karpas (green herbs, usually parsley at my house), Charoses (apples, nuts, wine, all chopped up to resemble the mortar of building the pyramids in Egypt), a Roasted Egg, a Roasted Shankbone, and Moror (the bitter herb, usually horseradish at my house).

So... the bitter herb.

XD

This year, my mom ended up having to order a lot of the things from our local supermarket, which means we're at their mercy and have to take what they have and can give us. Most everything else was a normal order. But I STG, I have no idea what they thought we needed this horseradish FOR, but, uh...

( ...a picture is worth a thousand words, I guess? XD )

I HAVE BEEN LAUGHING ABOUT IT SINCE YESTERDAY. SERIOUSLY, WHAT EVEN? XD XD XD

And all I've been able to think about is that my Aunt Sandy would have had a FIELD DAY with that horseradish, and my niece and nephew were just about at the right age for her and my mom to traumatize THEM by teaching them how to put a condom on a vegetable and I'm so sorry they didn't get to have that experience the way me, my sister, and my cousin did 30 years ago. XD

*deep breath* I've been thinking lately... this is not where I thought I'd be this time last year. My life has had some pretty dramatic upheavals in the last 12 months and it has led me down roads that I never thought I'd travel. And it has been one hell of an interesting journey. So, I thought I'd take a brief exploration of the trip, a little comparison of where I've been at Rosh Hashanah's past and present.

( Cut for excessive rambling. Hey, it's my LJ, I'll ramble if I want. ^_^ )

*deep breath* In short... I've come a hell of a long way in a year. My life now bears almost no resemblance to my life of last year. And do you know something incredible? I don't miss that old life. That old me was depressed, tremendously overweight, had very few friends and had long since misplaced many of the things she used to love most about herself. This new me feels good, is energetic, has made some awesome new friends because she was brave enough to reach out to them and hold on once she had them, and has discovered and rediscovered a hoard of new hobbies and interests that she'd long since forgotten. She's happy. She has a purpose in life. She feels like she's moving forward into a bright new future when before there was only darkness. I can't even begin to express what an unbelievable feeling that that is. So, though I never thought I'd even think this, much less say it... I'm grateful for my back injury. I'm grateful for this year. Most of all, I'm grateful for my family and my friends, without whom I would never have made it this far.

L'shana Tovah tikateivu v'teichateimu! -- May you be written and sealed for a good year and thank you all so very much!

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*coughs* OK, I'm not done. I need to brag about one last thing. ^_^

And I never thought that the single most exciting thing that would happen to me on Rosh Hashanah 5771 would be that I would buy tickets to go see Hair for a sixth time... in New Haven... on October 23rd, 2010. That's right, folks -- I have my tickets!!! :D zoicite was kind enough to let me bully her into coming with me. I have had butterflies in my stomach and a racing heart ever since I gave the lady on the phone my credit card number. To quote myself... "It's been too long. My heart is too full for words." And to paraphrase from my people...

"Next year in Jerusalem, sure... But next month in New Haven, first!" ;D ;D

OK... so... today sucked. It sucked hard.

But before I get to that... a Ziesen Pesach to everyone! Hope your holiday is wonderful! *hugs on a Seimei*

( And we interrupt this program to bring you a special Passover rant. So sorry. Thanks. )

I now return you to your regularly scheduled f-list.

*expires*

L'shana tovah tikateivu v'teichateimu, everyone!!

Apples and honey all around! Had a wonderful time at services tonight and trying to focus on that.

*snugs a Seimei*



Lilly Markowicz
11(?)/25(?)/1993 -- 9/30/2008

((And now I will go curl up with Gabriel and try not to remember that this Rosh Hashanah past is when I lost my baby girl. *sobs quietly*))

So... I realize that I haven't posted in a while. You'll have to forgive me for that, but the reality is that my life is busy trying to turn into complete and utter sh*t. Those of you who have been following the saga know that I have had a love-hate relationship with my job and my boss for the better part of the last two years. Around 6 months ago, a third doctor was added to our practice which made things complicated for a while, but for the most part, improved life dramatically for all involved. The three of us work together well, we communicate well and overall play nicely together.

So what's the problem, you say? Well, I'll tell you. Since hiring this third doctor, our higher-ups realized that apart from a few months over the summer, our practice really can't support three doctors. Hmm. Well, that's not good. Problem number 2: the practice 30 minutes north of us is losing one of their two doctors to a new hospital opening 30 minutes north of them. Problem, you say? Solution, says they. It's simple math really. We now have 4 doctors and 2 hospitals that can support 2 doctors each. Simple, right? Of course not right! Naturally, this means that one of the three doctors who work so well together needs to leave that practice to work with another vet who is less than one year out of school and has ambition that far outweighs and overreaches her ability and moral fortitude.

Hmm? What's that? Oh, why yes -- I was the one who ended up moving northwards.

Bitter, party of one? Your table is ready.

Now, I was promised that this other doctor was going to be leaving the practice at mid-summer. Two problems here. One, she's been talking and making changes as though she has no plans of going anywhere. Two, she's a miserable little **fill in the blank with derogatory explicative of your choice** and I can't work with her for another week, much less another 2-3 months!!

*pantpant*

And in the midst of all of this, I am turning 30 in 16 days. Now, don't get me wrong. I don't consider this a very big deal. I've always figured that if you're only as old as you feel (a sentiment in which I whole-heartedly believe), then I'm 6 for life. However, whenever you hit a milestone birthday (13, 17, 21, 30...), you can't avoid at least a little bit of stock-taking of your current position in life and comparing it to where you thought you'd be by that age. Now, for the earlier milestones, you're measuring your life accomplishments strictly in terms of what you've done in school. Thirty is the first one where you've had time out in the "real world" to complete and fill out some of the lines on your "life goal list": buy a car, get a job, be financially independent, buy a house, have a family, etc. And when you get to 30 and realize that you have only accomplished one or two of those things -- and you aren't satisfied with how you've done either one -- it's a rude awakening.

For the longest time, my entire life goal list had one line and it read like this: Become A Veterinarian. And I did that. It was a grueling and degrading experience, but I survived veterinary school and came out the other end with the piece of paper in hand that would allow me to step out into the workforce and finally be the thing that I had spent the last 15 years dreaming of becoming.

...And then I realized that that piece of paper isn't worth crap. No matter how much I learned in school, I didn't really feel that I could do this job that I worked so hard to be able to do. I felt completely unprepared and generally wanted to run screaming home to mommy every time an emergency that I didn't know how to handle walked into my practice. So I spent the next year or two learning all those things that they should have taught me in school. And by the time I hit 28 or 29 I started to realize that my goal list had now stood empty for those two years.

That was not a good moment. So, here I am at 29, almost 30, and I have a job that I don't like that I traded up for a job that I hate, an apartment I like in an apartment complex I can't stand, friends I adore but never see, a chorus group I sing in but dread going to on Monday nights because of the exhaustion that will set in by Tuesday morning, and a family that I want to be around for that lives three states away. And the one and only goal that I invested myself in reaching... isn't enough to make me happy anymore. In fact... it's making me miserable. And I have nothing else to replace it with.

*sigh* And is if that wasn't enough stress right there, I have my mother whispering in my ear that my biological clock is ticking and that if I wait another 3-5 years to return to NY (as I had planned), then it takes me 2-3 years to even make friends, much less find a boyfriend... do I really want to be starting a family at 37 or 38? *falls over* Like I needed that on top of all the other anxieties?? I don't even know that I want a husband (much less children) and now I'm supposed to rush to find one just so I'm not too old to do anything with one once I get him? What the hell is this, a drag race?

So what's the point of all this? I... I don't really know. I suppose I just needed to get it off of my chest and onto paper. I needed to get it out of me and into another medium so that I could see it clearly. I don't like making decisions under duress and I don't like being forced into life-altering ones because I'm running away from something less pleasant. And if I've succeeded in giving myself a little objectivity here, then I've accomplished what I set out to do. Thanks for the support. ^_^

And a ziesen Pesach to all those celebrating along with me tomorrow!

*eyes clock*

12:13 AM

*coughs*

...Make that today... *sheepish grin*

And this year, for your viewing pleasure, we present the favorite patient of your favorite client with a 4 day old bowel obstruction. *sigh* Happy birthday to me.

At least I know her surgery went well and she recovered from it OK. *more sighing* I just can't wait until she's home and happy and well past the end of her road to recovery.

*pause* A corn cob of all things! -.-;;; *twitch*

This one's for you, Bella:

Mi shebeirach avoteinu
M'kor habracha l'imoteinu

May the source of strength who blessed the ones before us,
Help us find the courage to make our lives a blessing
And let us say: Amen.

Mi shebeirach imoteinu
M'kor habracha l'avoteinu

Bless those in need of healing with refuah sh'leimah
The renewal of body, the renewal of spirit
And let us say: Amen.

On the upside, though... Her parents got me a really sweet and thoughtful card and gift. ^_^ Sometimes people surprise you -- in the good way. =^_^=