eirenical | Entries tagged with writer problems

So, I've done one of these most years and today's the day. I'm not counting WiPs this year because I honestly just don't have the energy, but here's everything that I published within 2015... and wow. Turns out this was my most pathetic year yet. *sigh*

There were three months (July, September, and October) in which I wrote absolutely nothing, and most other months the best I managed was to write 5K-6K words. That's pathetic for me. It really is. Then again, this semester was a disaster for me in more ways than one. Healthwise... ugh. I've been sick so often, I really wonder wtf my immune system is even DOING. And mentally I've not been anywhere near at my best. School and work are both kicking my ass and I don't see that situation improving any time soon. I've become almost phobic about writing and the fact that I'm getting so little feedback on the things I post is leading me to think that I really am sucking that badly these days. And since just about everything I write feels completely uninspired right now... I'm willing to believe that it's all crap. And that's not helping. *sigh*

I don't know if I just need a break from Les Mis? Or from writing? Or from life? I have no idea. But i do know that on my worst years I still have always cracked 100,000 words worth of writing and this year I didn't even come close. I think in the coming year I'm going to try to actually build time into my schedule for writing and try to get myself back in the habit. Because habit and hard work trump inspiration any day of the week.

...here's hoping that'll work, anyway. *sigh*

Date Published	Fandom	Title	Words
1/24/2015	Les Miserables	A Dream Deferred	10586
2/14/2015	Les Miserables	Feels Like Flying	6329
2/20/2015	Les Miserables	I Have Come To Sleep With You	2550
3/9/2015	Les Miserables	Would You Lie With Me?	4101
3/23/2015	Les Miserables	A Very Merry Unbirthday	2685
3/29/2015	Les Miserables	Follow You, Follow Me (18)	5179
2/25/15-4/13/15	Les Miserables	Muet (7-8)	7092
5/5/2015	Les Miserables	It's My Party	4546
6/13/2015	Les Miserables	Je me souviendrai	5366
8/9/15-11/1/15	Les Miserables	No Man is an Island (1-3)	9140
11/16/2015	Les Miserables	I Shall Give You Wings	5393
12/19/2015	Les Miserables	Purr-fection is Overrated	3275
12/20/2015	unrevealed	Anon YT fic	11229

		Total Words	77471

Current Mood: stressed
Crossposts: http://rchan.livejournal.com/260070.html

So, I finally decided it was time to start making calls and hunting up a new therapist. I have an appointment with someone on Monday and of course I’m now mildly freaking out about it. My last two experiences with such things have NOT turned out that well. *heavy sigh* But I'm getting really really really tired of living my life through the lens of anxiety. And I'm getting really really really tired of being so fucking tired all the time. I live most of my life feeling exhausted, like I can't budge to do the things I really need to do. And it's frustrating because I keep feeling like I should be able to just kick this thing in the ass and move on. Thing is... it doesn't work that way, does it?

( Nipping here now a very long post rambling about the state of my mental health and my hopes for the coming year. )

Current Mood: hopeful
Crossposts: http://rchan.livejournal.com/256933.html

I'm sitting in the lab, proctoring yet another exam and I'm bored out of my skull. I'd like to write, but the problem is... I've had caffeine and it's made me really, really jittery, so I'm not managing to settle and work on one of the things I should work on.

So... It's been a while since I've done a prompt day, so I thought I'd toss it out there. :)

How about something new and different?

Crossovers.

Give me two fandoms (and a character from each fandom) and a prompt word or phrase, and we'll see what my caffeine-twisted little brain can come up with. ^_~

Any fandoms tagged in the "fanfic" tags on the right are free game, as are any fandoms I've written for on AO3.

^_^

Current Mood: hyper
Crossposts: http://rchan.livejournal.com/248142.html

OK. So, as I said, I'm not really doing NaNo because a) who has time? and b) I'm still afraid of burnout.

But, I think I am going to try something anyway. Lately I keep coming up with all these ideas for LM stories and, much like I once had going for Hair, I have sprawled out into a bunch of WIPs.

...which is highly inconvenient.

They're distracting and I don't have time for them.

SO. I think what I shall do is, in place of "doing" NaNo, I will do my best to finish off these WIPs I have sprawled everywhere. At the very least, I will write every day. Maybe a little. Maybe a lot. But I will write SOMETHING. And hopefully in the middle of all that, I will actually get my exchange stories done. I mean... it's not like one of them isn't due in LESS THAN TWO WEEKS. O_o;;; (But I've got a decent start on that one, at least, which is more than I can say for the other two. -.-;;;)

Also, (though I'll probably cave on this one and start counting anyway) I think I'm going to say "Fuck the word count." This isn't about number of words -- I KNOW I can rack that up if I want -- this is about FINISHING THINGS.

So, instead of posting word counts, I will borrow a trick from one of my favorite WIP memes and every day I will post a sentence from whatever writing I did that day.

I think that sounds like more fun. ^_^

So... here's to FiWriThiMo (Finish Writing Things Month)?

Current Mood: determined
Crossposts: http://rchan.livejournal.com/247924.html

...how about a meme? ^_^

Stolen from tumblr for those few of you who don't follow me there:

Condensed the meme:

Send me the title of one of my stories and I’ll either give you a snippet from it or tell you about the sequel that may or may not ever get written.

You can also ask for trivia, headcanons or missing scenes.

This looks like fun and I could use something to do between helping students in the lab. ^_^
Find me on:
AO3, ff.net, tumblr (look under fanfiction) or browse the snippets,
LJ: 1 / 2 and on my old archive chibis.net.

...good grief, I'm scattered all over the place, aren't I? O_o;;; Most everything on tumblr (apart from the snippets) is on AO3, as well. So, there's that, at least. ^_~

Current Mood: bored
Crossposts: http://rchan.livejournal.com/245732.html

OK. I realize it's late and probably no one is awake to read this... but I'm randomly in the mood to write some porn and no one in particular is speaking to me.

Drop me a comment with a fandom/pairing? ^_~ You can leave an icon, too, if you like, but it's not necessary.

Current Mood: horny
Crossposts: http://rchan.livejournal.com/242333.html

Guys... look what happened this morning:

LMAO!

...I have such a dirty mind.

I feel like I want to write a smexy BJ fic to commemorate the occasion... but the one I want to write is a side story to my current Les Mis fic that won't make sense to anyone but me for at least another chapter or two.

*sigh* What to do, what to do? -.-;;;

Suggestions? ^_~

Current Mood: ecstatic
Crossposts: http://rchan.livejournal.com/240474.html

So... apparently I don't have enough on my plate with all the WIPs I'm currently in the middle of writing/editing.

I signed up for PR Trope Bingo.

( Bingo card under the cut. )

...at least there's no deadline? -.-;;;

And, BTW... IT'S 65 DEGREES AND I'M IN A SUMMER DRESS! XD

Soooooooooooooooo happy.

^_____________________^

Current Mood: chipper
Crossposts: http://rchan.livejournal.com/237664.html

OMFG.

I think I just finished that trailing JCS fic.

I thought I had so much more to write and I was putting it off because I didn't think I could recapture the feel of what I'd started with and it would have delved into details of Act II that I just really didn't feel like messing with, but... I managed to gloss over those parts and 1500 words later -- for a total of about 23,000 -- I think it's actually done. O_O;;;

Good call, there,

zoicite! ;D

Maybe this will kick me back into the mode I need to be in to get moving on some of these longer fic. ^_^

Current Mood: pleased
Crossposts: http://rchan.livejournal.com/236961.html

Oh, man, guys. I've been neglecting this blog something awful. -.-;;; Sorry about that. I've hit that point where I have so much to report that I don't even know what to report. -.-;;;

So... let's just skip all that RL stuff, shall we? ^_~ On to the fic!

( Book of Mormon -- You Only Think You Know Me )

( Being Human -- In Search of Paradise Lost )

In other fic news, I have about three other Book of Mormon fic in the works, most of which are dark, angsty and revolve around Elder McKinley (big surprise, right?). One of them may even be post-ready by the end of today. We'll see how that goes. ^_~

I hope you've all been well!

Current Mood: ditzy
Current Location: snowed in
Current Music: my space heater
Crossposts: http://rchan.livejournal.com/233981.html

Seriously, guys. DONE. I have written my Yuletide fic (almost 8,000 words), plus 5 treats -- all 2,000 words or more -- all in the last week. I declare myself done. I am not writing another treat. I am not allowing myself to be tempted by another prompt. I AM NOT DOING IT.

*squee* Now, I can't wait for the archive to open tomorrow!!! :D :D :D