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Happy New Year!
Sep. 18th, 2009 11:39 pmL'shana tovah tikateivu v'teichateimu, everyone!!
Apples and honey all around! Had a wonderful time at services tonight and trying to focus on that.
*snugs a Seimei*
.JPG)
Lilly Markowicz
11(?)/25(?)/1993 -- 9/30/2008
((And now I will go curl up with Gabriel and try not to remember that this Rosh Hashanah past is when I lost my baby girl. *sobs quietly*))
Apples and honey all around! Had a wonderful time at services tonight and trying to focus on that.
*snugs a Seimei*
Lilly Markowicz
11(?)/25(?)/1993 -- 9/30/2008
((And now I will go curl up with Gabriel and try not to remember that this Rosh Hashanah past is when I lost my baby girl. *sobs quietly*))
So, I finally did what (I believe) was the last of my kitty-shopping yesterday. Well, the last of the stuff I need anyway. ^_^ I have litter box -- the self-cleaning kind (I'll let you know how that works out... -.-;;;) -- litter scoop, litter, mat to go under the litter box (yes I'm a little obsessed with not wrecking the place, whydoyouask?), food, and food bowls. That last is what took me so damned long. Every time I contemplate using something of Lilly's for Gabriel... it makes me wince, just a bit. But mostly, I think I'll be happy to have her "presence", as it were, back in my life. Even if it's only by seeing her kitty furniture again. But for some stupid reason, the thought of using her food bowls for Gabriel made me wince way more than a little bit. As in, every time I thought about it I had to fight off tears. *twitch* Even to the point of having to ignore the two bowls I bought for her when I saw them in Petsmart. *sigh* The logic... it escapes me. So, I bought two new bowls for him. *shrug* Of all the items I could have flubbed over, at least bowls are inexpensive. ^_^ And thus, BTW, the icon. Do you have any idea how hard it is to find a nice cat bowl? O_o;;; Most of them are hideous. The ones I got were at least moderately cute. *shrug*
Why is this all so important?
I'm bringing Gabriel home today!!!
*bouncebouncebounce*
^_____^
So, naturally, last night I did not sleep right. *sweatdrop* Because I was excited? Because I was having a last minute case of guilty-nerves? Because it was warm enough that I borderline needed an AC (This last, of course, being most likely -- I don't sleep well when the temp in my room is above 60... and it was 67 when I woke up this morning. :-P ^_^)? I don't know. What I do know is that I was tossing and turning most of the night and even with DST in effect, I woke up before 8 AM. O_o;;; On a day I don't work. But here's the weird thing... I have a touch lamp next to my bed. You touch it, it turns on. You touch it again it gets brighter -- it's a three-setting bulb. ^_^ When I first got the lamp, Lilly figured this out awful quick. *mutters affectionately* Clever little brat. ^_^ She also figured out that if she turned on the lamp to its brightest setting, I would often wake up. She would then proceed to ignore me or demand whatever attention she decided she wanted at 2 AM. O_o;;; Thank goodness, this phase only lasted a week and then she got bored with it.
Why do I bring this up? Well, the first time I woke up this morning (circa 7:30 AM)... the lamp was on. I kid you not. I know I turned it off last night. And it's set on my bedside table so that careless flailing on my part won't turn it on -- I actually have to roll over and reach for it. And in three years of having said lamp, I've never managed to turn it on by accident while sleeping. So, why was it on this morning?
*blinks*
I'm sure there are a thousand logical reasons for how that lamp got switched on last night. I choose to accept none of them. I choose to think Lilly was visiting last night. You see, at every step along the way of this process of getting a new kitty, every time I start getting a massive case of the guilts... she manages to send me a sign that she's still here with me. *watery laugh* I can almost see it now... She's up in Heaven, harassing my grandma to make her yet another pot of chicken soup ^_^, sees me feeling guilty, sighs, thinks, "Why did I have to adopt the one that needs so much extra looking after? Maybe I should warn the new guy about what he's getting himself into...", pauses, snickers, "Nah, it'll be more fun to watch him suffer.", wanders down and turns on my lamp, waits until I wake up, pats me on the head, goes back to grandma to get her chicken soup. ^____^
I could so see that happening. ^_^ *mentally snugs on the Lilly*
*sigh* Ah well. I guess I should finish my prepping before I go pick up the little monster. ^_^ *waves* Ja ne!
Why is this all so important?
I'm bringing Gabriel home today!!!
*bouncebouncebounce*
^_____^
So, naturally, last night I did not sleep right. *sweatdrop* Because I was excited? Because I was having a last minute case of guilty-nerves? Because it was warm enough that I borderline needed an AC (This last, of course, being most likely -- I don't sleep well when the temp in my room is above 60... and it was 67 when I woke up this morning. :-P ^_^)? I don't know. What I do know is that I was tossing and turning most of the night and even with DST in effect, I woke up before 8 AM. O_o;;; On a day I don't work. But here's the weird thing... I have a touch lamp next to my bed. You touch it, it turns on. You touch it again it gets brighter -- it's a three-setting bulb. ^_^ When I first got the lamp, Lilly figured this out awful quick. *mutters affectionately* Clever little brat. ^_^ She also figured out that if she turned on the lamp to its brightest setting, I would often wake up. She would then proceed to ignore me or demand whatever attention she decided she wanted at 2 AM. O_o;;; Thank goodness, this phase only lasted a week and then she got bored with it.
Why do I bring this up? Well, the first time I woke up this morning (circa 7:30 AM)... the lamp was on. I kid you not. I know I turned it off last night. And it's set on my bedside table so that careless flailing on my part won't turn it on -- I actually have to roll over and reach for it. And in three years of having said lamp, I've never managed to turn it on by accident while sleeping. So, why was it on this morning?
*blinks*
I'm sure there are a thousand logical reasons for how that lamp got switched on last night. I choose to accept none of them. I choose to think Lilly was visiting last night. You see, at every step along the way of this process of getting a new kitty, every time I start getting a massive case of the guilts... she manages to send me a sign that she's still here with me. *watery laugh* I can almost see it now... She's up in Heaven, harassing my grandma to make her yet another pot of chicken soup ^_^, sees me feeling guilty, sighs, thinks, "Why did I have to adopt the one that needs so much extra looking after? Maybe I should warn the new guy about what he's getting himself into...", pauses, snickers, "Nah, it'll be more fun to watch him suffer.", wanders down and turns on my lamp, waits until I wake up, pats me on the head, goes back to grandma to get her chicken soup. ^____^
I could so see that happening. ^_^ *mentally snugs on the Lilly*
*sigh* Ah well. I guess I should finish my prepping before I go pick up the little monster. ^_^ *waves* Ja ne!
Kitties...
Feb. 17th, 2009 10:12 am*deep breath*
So. Everyone knows I have a new job. Which, for now at least, I love. ^_^ One of the major differences between this job and the old job is that we have in-house kitties. ^_^ They live in the hospital and *coughs* "help" with all the work. ((We won't point out, of course, how unhelpful it is to have a kitty butt square in the middle of the notes you're trying to write...)) Anyway, our grand total of official hospital cats is 8: Chester -- who's 22 years old and still catching mice!, Tessa, Molly, Pieces, Giuseppe, Sybil, Oscar, and a black cat (whose name I don't remember >.<). We also have two kitties who are roughly 6 months old that we are trying to find homes for: Mootie (who I believe is already spoken for) and a little black kitty (who no one can come up with a name for that will stick ^_^). And yes, that is me in the pictures... O_o;;;
So why is this all important? I'll tell you. As you can see from the pictures, the little black kitty has laid claim to the cushy spot that is my chest (:-P) as a favored resting place. I'm not entirely sure I'm ready for another kitty, but I must confess, I'm getting attached to this one. But, as some of you know, I currently live in a "No Pets" apartment. End of story, right? *chuckles* Wrong. I decided to call my landlord and ask the question -- because if I don't ask, the answer is automatically "No", right? So I called, I explained the situation and listened to her hem and haw. Finally I explained that I wasn't expecting an answer right that moment and understood she'd have to talk it over with her husband and brother-in-law (my other two landlords). She said she would and she'd get back to me -- which is Joanne-speak for, "I'm going to forget we had this conversation 2 seconds after we hang up until you call and remind me three weeks from now."
*sigh* Oh well, you can't win if you don't even play the game, right? It's not as if I was expecting her to say yes.
Which brings me to Sunday. I have a shirt that I used to love -- it's pink/melon colored and stripey and looks pretty good on me. It's also, unfortunately, the last shirt that I held my baby girl in. (It's what I was wearing when I took her to be euthanized.) After her death, I wore it 2 or 3 times a week for ~1 month. Then I just stopped. I put it away and haven't taken it out since. Now, maybe it was guilt over contemplating a new kitty, I don't really know, but for some reason I decided to wear that shirt on Sunday. That day my landlord called me back with the following message: "In answer to your question, I talked it over with my husband and brother-in-law and we all agreed... you can have a cat. We wish you the best of luck with him and go ahead and bring him home."
And the next few minutes went like this: *stares at phone* *plays message again* *stares at shirt* *stares upwards* *chokes up and cries a little* I can take a hint, baby girl. Thanks for realizing I needed your blessing. *wobble eyes* ^_^
*wipes eyes* And so, now I just need to find out how I go about the process of taking him home (would like to neuter him first...), kitty-proofing my apartment (Yikes...) and deciding whether or not I want to move Lilly's cat-trees, etc. back in or just buy him new stuff. On the one hand, that stuff is expensive... on the other hand... it was Lilly's. *sigh*
Oh... and finding a name for the little guy. O_o;;; He's been living in the hospital for the last 1 1/2 months and not one name has stuck. -.-;;; I like the name "Rushlight" (from Uhura's Song -- he was a character from a bipedal feline race and he was the clan bard), but I can't figure out how I would nickname that down for everyday use. And I've been rereading the Dark Visions trilogy. My favorite characters is Gabriel (the dark-haired boy on the cover of Book 2) and it occurred to me that "Gabriel" might not be a bad name... But I can just see the discussion with my mother... "Oh..." *disappointed look* "...isn't that a Christian name? Are you sure you want to name him that?" *me twitch*
*coughs* So, if anyone thinks of any ideas, please let me know. ^_^
*snugs on all*
Later!
So. Everyone knows I have a new job. Which, for now at least, I love. ^_^ One of the major differences between this job and the old job is that we have in-house kitties. ^_^ They live in the hospital and *coughs* "help" with all the work. ((We won't point out, of course, how unhelpful it is to have a kitty butt square in the middle of the notes you're trying to write...)) Anyway, our grand total of official hospital cats is 8: Chester -- who's 22 years old and still catching mice!, Tessa, Molly, Pieces, Giuseppe, Sybil, Oscar, and a black cat (whose name I don't remember >.<). We also have two kitties who are roughly 6 months old that we are trying to find homes for: Mootie (who I believe is already spoken for) and a little black kitty (who no one can come up with a name for that will stick ^_^). And yes, that is me in the pictures... O_o;;;
So why is this all important? I'll tell you. As you can see from the pictures, the little black kitty has laid claim to the cushy spot that is my chest (:-P) as a favored resting place. I'm not entirely sure I'm ready for another kitty, but I must confess, I'm getting attached to this one. But, as some of you know, I currently live in a "No Pets" apartment. End of story, right? *chuckles* Wrong. I decided to call my landlord and ask the question -- because if I don't ask, the answer is automatically "No", right? So I called, I explained the situation and listened to her hem and haw. Finally I explained that I wasn't expecting an answer right that moment and understood she'd have to talk it over with her husband and brother-in-law (my other two landlords). She said she would and she'd get back to me -- which is Joanne-speak for, "I'm going to forget we had this conversation 2 seconds after we hang up until you call and remind me three weeks from now."
*sigh* Oh well, you can't win if you don't even play the game, right? It's not as if I was expecting her to say yes.
Which brings me to Sunday. I have a shirt that I used to love -- it's pink/melon colored and stripey and looks pretty good on me. It's also, unfortunately, the last shirt that I held my baby girl in. (It's what I was wearing when I took her to be euthanized.) After her death, I wore it 2 or 3 times a week for ~1 month. Then I just stopped. I put it away and haven't taken it out since. Now, maybe it was guilt over contemplating a new kitty, I don't really know, but for some reason I decided to wear that shirt on Sunday. That day my landlord called me back with the following message: "In answer to your question, I talked it over with my husband and brother-in-law and we all agreed... you can have a cat. We wish you the best of luck with him and go ahead and bring him home."
And the next few minutes went like this: *stares at phone* *plays message again* *stares at shirt* *stares upwards* *chokes up and cries a little* I can take a hint, baby girl. Thanks for realizing I needed your blessing. *wobble eyes* ^_^
*wipes eyes* And so, now I just need to find out how I go about the process of taking him home (would like to neuter him first...), kitty-proofing my apartment (Yikes...) and deciding whether or not I want to move Lilly's cat-trees, etc. back in or just buy him new stuff. On the one hand, that stuff is expensive... on the other hand... it was Lilly's. *sigh*
Oh... and finding a name for the little guy. O_o;;; He's been living in the hospital for the last 1 1/2 months and not one name has stuck. -.-;;; I like the name "Rushlight" (from Uhura's Song -- he was a character from a bipedal feline race and he was the clan bard), but I can't figure out how I would nickname that down for everyday use. And I've been rereading the Dark Visions trilogy. My favorite characters is Gabriel (the dark-haired boy on the cover of Book 2) and it occurred to me that "Gabriel" might not be a bad name... But I can just see the discussion with my mother... "Oh..." *disappointed look* "...isn't that a Christian name? Are you sure you want to name him that?" *me twitch*
*coughs* So, if anyone thinks of any ideas, please let me know. ^_^
*snugs on all*
Later!
Mildly stressed
Jan. 5th, 2009 10:42 pmSo... for those of you keeping up with things, I had a crashing realization today. I start my new job tomorrow. O_O
Night before first day jitters, anyone? *sigh* While I really needed the break from work, I admit that starting a new job when one hasn't worked for 3 months... is a little scary.
OK, it's a lot scary. And I'm still desperately afraid that I'll burst into tears the first time I see a sick kitty in the office tomorrow. Or an old one. Or a healthy one. Or any one. >.<;;; *wince*
But, on the upside, I'll once again have a paycheck coming in. That has to be a good thing, right? *unsure-but-game smile*
*glares downwards* Now, if I can only teach my downstairs neighbors that music -- especially loud music with a heavy base beat -- should not be played after 10 PM... we'll all be good.
*sigh* *ducks head back into Sentinel DVDs* *whine* When are they gonna release Season 2? Ever? :-P
((Oh... and the count is now up to 589... not counting any of the books at my parents house, any of my reference (read: vet) books or any of my manga, English or Japanese. *sweatdrop*))
Night before first day jitters, anyone? *sigh* While I really needed the break from work, I admit that starting a new job when one hasn't worked for 3 months... is a little scary.
OK, it's a lot scary. And I'm still desperately afraid that I'll burst into tears the first time I see a sick kitty in the office tomorrow. Or an old one. Or a healthy one. Or any one. >.<;;; *wince*
But, on the upside, I'll once again have a paycheck coming in. That has to be a good thing, right? *unsure-but-game smile*
*glares downwards* Now, if I can only teach my downstairs neighbors that music -- especially loud music with a heavy base beat -- should not be played after 10 PM... we'll all be good.
*sigh* *ducks head back into Sentinel DVDs* *whine* When are they gonna release Season 2? Ever? :-P
((Oh... and the count is now up to 589... not counting any of the books at my parents house, any of my reference (read: vet) books or any of my manga, English or Japanese. *sweatdrop*))
...They do.
*sigh* So, I'm sure you all figured out (the three of you who actually read this LJ...) that I had to put Lilly to sleep on Rosh Hashanah (last Tuesday). The addendum to this, however, I wasn't up to sharing at the time. I had, quite possibly, the most ridiculous conversation with my boss in the history of such conversations.
( The quick summary is as follows: )
And this culminated, obviously, in the termination of my employment. *sweatdrop* Honestly, I'm still stunned by the stupidity that emanated off those e-mails. But, really, to be honest, I couldn't be happier to be free of the Hellhole of life and spirit-sucking calamity. I've started the interview process in NY (6 interviews, at least 4 potential jobs out of the lot) and am fairly pleased with the prospects. So is my sister. And my parents. And my Uncle. And my Aunt Sandy. *sweatdrop* They're all fighting over where I should live when I come back. *headdesk* I just hope I get a say when all is said and done...
In other news... I had a very strange experience last night. This past Sunday when mom and I came home from seeing Young Frankenstein on Broadway we found a message on the machine (dated from who knows when) from Dr. Baum saying that Lilly's ashes were back and could be picked up at any time.
*cold water splash on day of fun*
Anyway, neither of us said anything about it and I wasn't up to going over there that day.
So... last night's weirdness. I kept feeling Lilly jumping up on my bed. I woke up several times during the course of the night, my heart pounding, certain I'd felt her little feet padding up from the foot of the bed and digging at the covers until I let her under them -- which, being half asleep, I did at least twice. But, of course, every time I opened my eyes, she wasn't there. And I dreamed about her all night long, something I hadn't done since her death.
So, needless to say, I decided that I should quit stalling and go pick up her ashes today. So, I told my mother I was going to go do just that. She then told me that I didn't have to... she's already done it for me. I froze in the act of moving towards the door and asked her when she had done so.
Yesterday.
So, even though I didn't know until today, last night was the first night that she was back in the house with me... and she climbed right back into bed with me like she hadn't really been gone. *little choked soblaugh* Pushy little thing, just like always.
Explanations?
I have none. Just a warmsadhappyweirdflutterycrushing feeling in my chest and the memory of a kitty in my bed.
I love you baby girl... wherever you are. Feel free to come back again and hog the bed whenever you want.
*sigh* So, I'm sure you all figured out (the three of you who actually read this LJ...) that I had to put Lilly to sleep on Rosh Hashanah (last Tuesday). The addendum to this, however, I wasn't up to sharing at the time. I had, quite possibly, the most ridiculous conversation with my boss in the history of such conversations.
( The quick summary is as follows: )
And this culminated, obviously, in the termination of my employment. *sweatdrop* Honestly, I'm still stunned by the stupidity that emanated off those e-mails. But, really, to be honest, I couldn't be happier to be free of the Hellhole of life and spirit-sucking calamity. I've started the interview process in NY (6 interviews, at least 4 potential jobs out of the lot) and am fairly pleased with the prospects. So is my sister. And my parents. And my Uncle. And my Aunt Sandy. *sweatdrop* They're all fighting over where I should live when I come back. *headdesk* I just hope I get a say when all is said and done...
In other news... I had a very strange experience last night. This past Sunday when mom and I came home from seeing Young Frankenstein on Broadway we found a message on the machine (dated from who knows when) from Dr. Baum saying that Lilly's ashes were back and could be picked up at any time.
*cold water splash on day of fun*
Anyway, neither of us said anything about it and I wasn't up to going over there that day.
So... last night's weirdness. I kept feeling Lilly jumping up on my bed. I woke up several times during the course of the night, my heart pounding, certain I'd felt her little feet padding up from the foot of the bed and digging at the covers until I let her under them -- which, being half asleep, I did at least twice. But, of course, every time I opened my eyes, she wasn't there. And I dreamed about her all night long, something I hadn't done since her death.
So, needless to say, I decided that I should quit stalling and go pick up her ashes today. So, I told my mother I was going to go do just that. She then told me that I didn't have to... she's already done it for me. I froze in the act of moving towards the door and asked her when she had done so.
Yesterday.
So, even though I didn't know until today, last night was the first night that she was back in the house with me... and she climbed right back into bed with me like she hadn't really been gone. *little choked soblaugh* Pushy little thing, just like always.
Explanations?
I have none. Just a warmsadhappyweirdflutterycrushing feeling in my chest and the memory of a kitty in my bed.
I love you baby girl... wherever you are. Feel free to come back again and hog the bed whenever you want.
I don't have the words
Oct. 5th, 2008 09:08 pm.JPG)
Lilly Markowicz
11(?)/25(?)/1993 -- 9/30/2008
( She came into my life in the summer of 2002... and I couldn't have imagined then, what a hole she would rip out of it when she left. )
Yisgadal veyiskadash shemei raba bealma divera chireusei, veyamlich malchusei bechayeichon uveyomeichon uvechaei dechol beis Yisraeil, baagala uvizeman kariv, veimeru: amein.
Yehei shemei raba mevarach lealam ulealmei almaya.
Yisbarach, veyishtabach, veyispaar veyisromam veyisnasei, veyishadar veyisaleh veyishalal shemei dekudesha, berish hu, leeila min kol birechata veshirata, tushbechata venechemata, daamiran bealma, veimeru: amein.
Yehei shelama raba min shemaya vechayim aleinu veal kol Yisraeil, veimeru: amein.
Oseh shalom bimeromav, hu yaaseh shalom aleinu veal kol Yisraeil, veimeru: amein.
Let the glory of G-d be extolled, let His great name be hallowed, in the world whose creation He willed. May His kingdom soon prevail, in our own day, our own lives, and the life of all Israel, and let us say: Amen.
Let his great name be blessed for ever and ever.
Let the name of the Holy One, blessed is He, be glorified, exalted, and honored, though He is beyond all the praises, songs, and adorations that we can utter, and let us say: Amen.
For us and for all Israel, may the blessing of peace and the promise of life come true, and let us say: Amen.
May He who causes peace to reign in the high heavens, let peace descend on us, on all Israel, and all the world, and let us say: Amen.
