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eirenicalYou know you've expanded a part too much when...
How dare he! Nuriko fumed as he paced back and forth in his rooms. It wasn't as though his situation weren't bad enough. To have the Emperor dangling a friendship in front of his face as though he had any right to do it! As though he meant it... Well, Nuriko was no idiot and he was not blind. It was the Emperor's fault that he was in this predicament. And what could he do about it now? It was a futile wish that the servants hadn't spread this particularly juicy piece of gossip around by now.
Pacing feverishly, Nuriko tried to determine his next move. He could go to dinner tonight, dressed as he was, and deal with the consequences... or he could go dressed as usual, as Lady Kourin. Neither option seemed very promising. A little voice in the back of his mind prompted that there was a third option. He could go, dressed however he liked, and take dinner with the Emperor and Tamahome. They'd dined that way several times before Miaka had left. But after his encounter with the Emperor this afternoon, he was feeling anything but charitable towards the man and didn't wish to give him the satisfaction of running to him for protection.
After a few more minutes of pacing, Nuriko made up his mind. Stripping out of his tunic and pants, he took one of his nicer dresses from the closet and pulled it on. It was reassuring, the feeling of those layers of soft silks. It was comforting. Calling for Emi, he sat down at the vanity. Without a word, she brushed his hair and pulled it up into a style that "Lady Kourin" had favored. She applied make-up to his face and straightened his clothing. Nuriko couldn't help but admire the woman's handiwork. He looked just as he had when he was masquerading as a woman. It was a vain hope, he knew, but still he hoped that the rumors hadn't spread... that there was a chance, however slim, that he might pick up at least a part of his former life undamaged. He again ignored that traitorous little voice that whispered, But do you want to...?
A gong rang in the courtyard, signifying a start to evening court. Nuriko stood slowly and headed towards the dining area. As soon as he reached it, Nuriko realized that his worst suspicions were true. The lords and servants sneered as they saw him, laughed in his face as he walked by. His hair and clothes were forcefully tugged, feet held out to trip him more than once. Rude comments reached his ears, staining his cheeks a delicate pink. By the time he reached his spot at the main table, Nuriko felt his composure beginning to slip. One of his chief rivals at court, Lady Mariko, slipped delicately into his seat. She smiled cruelly at him and laughed, "You aren't wanted here, sir. Perhaps you should leave."
All conversation stopped and all eyes turned to him. Though, on some level, he'd been expecting exactly this reaction, Nuriko was still caught off guard by the open hostility in the faces ranged around him. One of the younger lords that he'd been particularly nasty to of late stood up and added his own two cents, "Your kind isn't wanted here. Go crawl back into your father's bed where you belong." Nuriko took a step back, all color draining from his face. More and more people stood up, eager to add their own insults. Deciding that discretion was the better part of valor and not wanting to be at the center of a court-wide brawl, Nuriko gathered what dignity he could and turned and left the room.
He should have expected that it wouldn't end there. He really should have. He'd played too many cruel games with too many innocent people, and many who were not so innocent. He should have known that they wouldn't pass up this opportunity to see him humbled. Not 30 steps from the courtyard and his retreat was abruptly halted by a firm grip on his left arm. He froze, turned to glare at the one who dared manhandle him thus. It would be easy enough to break the man's grip were he to use his seishi powers. Something, though... something held him back. It felt wrong somehow. After all, it wasn't as though this punishment was undeserved. Shocked into stillness by that thought, he allowed another to grab his right arm and didn't even notice when they were surrounded by the men's other compatriots. All were lords that he had slighted in the past. A third lord of his former entourage was standing before him, cracking his knuckles. He gave Nuriko an evil smile, "Well now, pretty boy. We were thinking, now that you're a man, we can treat you like one. We're here to get some of our own back..."
Nuriko knew what was coming -- how could he not know? And he knew he could stop it, could have the men off him and trampled beneath his feet in a matter of minutes. But he just couldn't do it. For they were right and this was just. He had lied. He had committed cruel acts. He had played these men off each other, bringing shame to many of them. And now? Now his honor was in question. And having had a taste of what it was like to have that honor, having had a taste of being a seishi... this life he had led seemed ever more unclean. Were he anyone else, he'd have been executed for these crimes, but the Emperor had not even punished him for them. Bowing his head and feeling the prickle of tears in the back of his eyes, Nuriko said only, "Do your worst, my lords. I won't even deny that I deserve it."
The man in front of Nuriko sneered at his reluctance to fight and let loose a punch that landed right in the center of his stomach, knocking the wind out of him. His dress was torn as his knees buckled. Another punch landed in the center of his back, knocking him to the ground. He moaned quietly, then cut it off. He would not complain, he would not protest, he would not fight back. He deserved this. Doing nothing more to protect himself than to cover his head with his arms, he let the blows rain down.
After a time, Nuriko had no idea how much, a flare of red light caused him to look up. Even in his befuddled state, Nuriko would have recognized the feel of the ogre's chi. Tamahome had arrived. He took care of the three lords who had played the largest parts in this fiasco, then growled menacingly at those remaining. They were no fools and knew better than to tangle with one of the seishi when riled. They quit the scene as quickly as they could. Tamahome then knelt to help Nuriko sit up. Nuriko pulled away from him, shivering and trying vainly to pull together the torn remains of his dress. Tamahome brushed a lock of hair from his face, "Nuriko? Why didn't you fight back? With your strength, you could have taken them all on single-handed. Are you all right?"
Nuriko shook his head violently, holding his stomach with one hand. To his bitter shame, he felt that earlier prickle of tears shake loose and begin tracking their way down his face. Raising one hand to his mouth, he tried desperately to reign in the sobs. No... he was not all right. He didn't think he would ever be all right again. He was perverted, dirty, unclean... and he had no honor. As a man, he was a complete failure and he could no longer be what his heart screamed that he was -- a woman. He had deserved that beating -- he deserved worse than that. He didn't deserve this gentle understanding, this extended hand of friendship, especially from yet another that he'd willfully hurt. He wanted to scream at the younger man not to get close, not to let Nuriko's shame rub off on him, but he was afraid to open his mouth... afraid that if he did, he would start screaming and be unable to stop.
Tamahome seemed to sense that Nuriko was incapable of answering and starting murmuring soothing nonsense to him as he approached. Nuriko felt a nearly hysterical giggle rising to fight with the tears. Apparently all men think I'm some sort of easily spooked horse... Once he was close enough to do so, Tamahome eased an arm around Nuriko's shoulders and pulled the older seishi to rest against his warm chest. He began lightly stroking Nuriko's back and quietly telling him that it was all right. That was the final nail in the coffin of Nuriko's self control. He turned to the younger man, buried his face in that broad chest and burst into hysterical sobs.
Hotohori had not returned to his desk that day. Instead he had taken a long walk through the woods, trying to sort out his feelings -- his feelings over Miaka's leaving, Tamahome's obvious love for Miaka, Nuriko's true identity... and what he truly felt for the indigo-haired seishi. Were his motives as pure as he had thought them? Or was Nuriko right? Had he been leading the other man on with only the intent of hurting him later? There was so much to think about his head had begun to hurt. When he saw the sky begin to darken, he had reluctantly headed back to the palace, thoughts no better sorted than before.
A flare of red light made him turn his gaze to the left. That had to be one of his fellow seishi. He was not as adept as Nuriko at picking out the nuances of these feelings, but he thought it might be Tamahome. But why was the other man employing his seishi powers here? What threat could there possibly be? His heartbeat quickened and his hand clenched convulsively near his belt where his sword would be if he were wearing it. Well, no hope for it. This was his Court, perhaps his presence alone would be enough to dispel whatever situation he might find. He hastened towards that flare of energy. What he found when he arrived, however, surprised him. Tamahome, his aura having fading back down to normal levels, was lifting a battered and still Nuriko into his arms. Only this was Nuriko as they had always known him -- in full Court garb, as Lady Kourin. In spite of Nuriko's earlier promise, Hotohori felt an irrational fear seize his heart as he ran over. "What happened? Is he all right?" he blurted out.
Tamahome pulled the smaller seishi closer to his chest as he shook his head, "I'm not really sure. A gang of nobles was beating him up when I arrived. One of them said something about 'getting some of their own back'. I'm not really sure what happened, Hotohori-sama... but I know he was upset and I know he didn't even try to fight back. If he had, we'd be tending to them now, not him." He looked down at Nuriko's face, frowning.
Hotohori took a step closer, an equally confused frown on his own face. Not about what the lords had said -- that he understood all too well. After all, Lady Kourin had not been known for her kind and gentle nature... especially to the lords of the court. He'd felt her sting himself, all too often. No, what confused him was why Nuriko had not fought back against his attackers, and moreover, knowing that his secret was likely a secret no more, why had he even gone to take dinner with the Court? Why not wait and dine with them? The answer dawned on him in a flash of insight. Why had Nuriko risked his safety to dine with the Court? Because he was avoiding Hotohori. The Emperor felt a stab of guilt at that. In a way... he was responsible for this. He laid a gentle hand on Nuriko's head, Why is it, that even when I want most to hate you... I can't? He looked up at Tamahome, "How badly is he injured? Will he be all right?"
Tamahome started to walk and the Emperor fell into step with him, "I don't really know, Hotohori-sama. I haven't really had a chance to look, but I don't think they did any major damage. He should be all right with a little rest." Tamahome, though sorry that Nuriko had gotten hurt, was almost glad for this distraction. His mind had been far too much on Miaka since her departure. He hadn't thought that he felt anything special for the girl before, had not believed her when she'd professed her love to him... but now, he wasn't so sure anymore. First when she'd gone missing, then when she'd been so injured and now that she was gone altogether... He missed the girl more than he'd thought he would. It was starting to depress him. And certainly Nuriko was no Miaka... but taking care of him would at least keep his mind off the other girl. He turned to the Emperor, surprised that he was still with them. Surely the man had more important things to do with his time? He offered the man a reassuring smile, "I'll see him safely back to his room, heika-sama. You should go eat."
Hotohori, for his part, was shocked to realize that he was being dismissed. He, the Emperor, was being dismissed! He opened his mouth to protest, then reconsidered. He could better serve his fellow seishi by finding and punishing the men who had done this. He would make sure that the entire court knew that the seishi were not to be treated with such disrespect, no matter their station in life. He nodded curtly and stalked off towards the dining room. His Court had an awful lot of explaining to do...
Nuriko woke slowly to a dull throbbing in his back and stomach. He was sore all over. He felt something cold and wet settle on his brow. He tried to shrink away from the touch, I don't deserve this... Please go away, whoever you are... Reluctantly prying his eyes open, he found Tamahome sitting by his bedside and giving him a gentle smile, "Feeling any better?"
Nuriko put a hand to his head and removed the cold compress. He sat up and Tamahome moved to put a pillow behind his back. The younger seishi's eyes were concerned. Nuriko looked away, unable to bear the honest worry in those grey eyes. He answered in a harsh whisper, "Why did you interfere? I didn't need your help."
Tamahome frowned, "With all due respect, Nuriko, I think you did. They could have really done you harm! Is that what you wanted?"
A flinch for the bald truth in that outraged statement. Shrugging helplessly, Nuriko said, "It was no more than I deserved."
The younger man stared at him for a moment, then took both of his shoulders in his hands and shook him. Nuriko's gaze snapped up to meet his eyes, startled. Tamahome shook him again, for some reason more angry than was really appropriate, "No one deserves that kind of treatment. No one, Nuriko." It was wrong... this was all so very wrong. Lady Kourin had been confidant, haughty, self-righteous. Nuriko, stripped of his alter ego, seemed to have lost the few good qualities that said alter ego had possessed. He seemed adrift... lost. Tamahome felt a small stab of guilt. He and Hotohori-sama had known that, had seen it on the journey back, and had done nothing. A few words of reassurance, just one small kindness, could have shown Nuriko that he had their support. Instead... they'd thrown him to the wolves. Well, he was going to make sure, from now on, that Nuriko knew that he was safe with the other seishi. It was all he could do. Pulling the smaller man up against him, as he had earlier that night, he said, "You've done nothing wrong, Nuriko. Nothing at all. So, please, don't do anything like this again. Next time they corner you, fight back -- better yet, just don't let them corner you at all. Stay near me or Hotohori-sama if you have to."
Nuriko swallowed hard and made a helpless gesture with one of his hands, "But they were right, Tamahome. I did plenty wrong before. I was cruel, I was dishonest..." His voice dropped into a whisper, "There's something really wrong with me, Tamahome. I know that you all thought this was some great joke, but it wasn't... not to me. I can't just stop wearing dresses and start wearing pants and it will all change. In every way that matters, except one, I am a woman. As a woman, I'm beautiful, I'm desired, I'm confidant. As a man..." His breath hitched, "As a man, I'm a failure. I'm a pervert. I have no honor." His voice rose into a pitiful wail, "They all hate me. The Emperor hates me. I'm useless like this... What possible place can there be in this world for someone like me?"
Tamahome was shocked into silence by the raw pain in that outburst. And he was ashamed. Miaka had seen this. She had seen the desperate fear and loneliness that Nuriko was hiding from all others. She had seen it when Nuriko had been Lady Kourin, her tormentor. And she had known that this almost fragile, gentle soul was what lay underneath. Why had he and Hotohori not? He pulled the other seishi closer and began running a gentle hand through Nuriko's hair, "I don't hate you, Nuriko. The Emperor doesn't hate you, either. As for your place in this world... you're a seishi. Suzaku seishi Nuriko. That is your place. However you choose to fill it, it is yours alone. Not many people are lucky enough to have that kind of certainty of purpose. And as for what the court lords think... Why should you care? They can't touch you if you don't wish it. You are far more important to this land than any 100 of them."
Nuriko leaned back and stared at him in shock, unable to process all that the younger man had said beyond that bit about he and the Emperor not hating him. Tamahome continued, "They look at me funny, too, you know. They always have, ever since I got here." At Nuriko's confused look, he smiled, "I don't know whether to be pleased or insulted that you've already forgotten. I'm a peasant boy, Nuriko. There is no noble blood running in my veins. My father is a poor farmer." His eyes darkened as he spoke, "My family wears clothing that is the next step up from rags and can barely afford the house they live in and the food they eat. The lords look down on me, as well. Does it look to you like it bothers me?"
Nuriko shook his head mutely, not having a ready answer for Tamahome's questions. Tamahome pulled back to look down into Nuriko's eyes, his own intense and serious, "Ignore those fools if you can and give them hell if you can't." Then he smiled, "What happened to the person that every lord and lady in this Court used to fear crossing?" At Nuriko's blush, Tamahome's smile widened, "You are still that person, Nuriko. You just have to find a different way to show it."
His heavy heart already feeling two tons lighter thanks to Tamahome's simple faith, Nuriko finally smiled, "Apparently, I don't deserve you, either, Tamahome-san... But just as I told Miaka, I think I'll keep you all the same. Thank you, my friend. For your caring, for your honesty... I won't soon forget."
Relieved to see Nuriko finally acting more like himself, Tamahome stood up, "Good. Don't." Before he could say another word, however, his stomach let out a rather loud grumble.
Nuriko laughed at the blush which quickly overtook the other's face, "Why don't you go get your dinner, Tamahome. I'll just wash up and then I'll join you." As the younger man left, Nuriko couldn't help the happy smile that refused to leave his face. It might not be perfect, and he might need to work on it, but finally, at long last, he felt like he had found a home.
Three months later, Nuriko was looking back on that day with what could only be termed longing. Looking out for Tamahome had become a full time job, leaving him with no time to cement the fragile start to his new almost-friendship with the Emperor. With no one to protect, and no Miaka around to love, Tamahome had withdrawn into himself, often hurting himself in the process. Nuriko had taken to following him around the palace as he wandered aimlessly, banging into walls and doors indiscriminately. A time or two, only Nuriko's inhuman strength had saved them both from falling down the stairs or off the high plateaus near the lake. Tamahome didn't even notice when he finished his own food, yet continued to plow through the numerous dishes on the table, often quite literally. Nuriko was surprised that he hadn't cracked any teeth with his new diet of fine china.
Hotohori was hurting, too, Nuriko could see it... but, he didn't dare broach the subject to the Emperor. He still didn't entirely trust the man's about-face when it came to his claims of suddenly desiring a friendship. How could he? It was hard to cast off a year's worth of history, after all. He was only barely tolerated at court as it was, and only because he was a Suzaku Seishi. Hotohori had banished the three lords responsible for his beating, and the others pretty much kept away from him these days, but he was far from welcome here and he knew it. Yet, between looking after Tama-chan and listening to Emi's incessant gossip, Nuriko managed to fool himself into being happy.
He was currently standing in front of his closet, trying to select a dress for the day, as Emi cleaned up the bathing room. He heard a knock at his door and called for the person to enter -- he had given only two people standing dispensation to come into his rooms without Emi having to clear it with him first, and as Tamahome had so eloquently told him those three months past, he was safe with both of his fellow seishi. Still, he was nearly startled out of his wits when he saw Tamahome, dressed for travel, standing uncertainly in the doorway. He gestured for the younger boy to enter and picked out a dress for the day. He had only worn men's clothes once or twice after that first time. He still wasn't totally comfortable in them. He slipped behind the dressing screen, pulling on his dress and waiting for Tamahome to speak. He didn't do so until Nuriko was back in front of the screen.
He smiled sadly up at Nuriko, "I want to thank you for looking out for me, Nuriko. You've been a true friend these past few months. I owe you a great debt."
Nuriko shook his head, "No, Tamahome-kun, you don't owe me anything. It was no more than any other friend would have done..."
Tamahome let out a bitter chuckle, "It was, Nuriko, and you well know it. I've been pretty out of it..." He shook his head to clear it, "But that isn't what I came to say. I-I can't stay here any longer. I need to earn money and I can't do that here at the Palace."
Nuriko's heart froze and then started to pound at those words. These months had only been tolerable because of Tamahome and Emi. For just as Tamahome had been lost without a Miaka to protect, Nuriko would have nothing with which to fill his days were it not for his having to look out for Tamahome. What would he do without the younger boy to look after? Before he could get too steeped in his own worries, however, he remembered what Tamahome had said about his family. He met Tamahome's eyes and the other boy nodded once. Nuriko bowed his head, "Then I will place no roadblocks in your path, Tamahome. I know how difficult these past months have been for you, and I know your family needs you more than I ever could. If you feel you need it, you have my blessing."
He heard Tamahome rise and walk towards him. He closed his eyes, not all that eager to see his friend leave, in spite of his brave words. Tamahome leaned down and pressed a light kiss to Nuriko's forehead, then he was gone. Nuriko leaned back against the wall and raised a hand to touch the spot that Tamahome had just kissed. He drew in a shaky breath and finished getting ready, wondering what he was going to do with himself for the rest of the day. He stared at himself in the mirror and frowned, slowly pulling off the dress. He grabbed his pants and tunic and put them on.
He watched himself in the mirror for a while, trying to look more masculine and failing miserably. He slumped in front of the mirror and heaved a big sigh. I'll never look like a man... He heard soft footsteps behind him and turned to face Emi. She smiled at him and set to straightening his clothing. He chuckled at her fussing, "Chibi-kaasan..."
She smiled and hushed him, continuing to straighten his clothing. When she was finally satisfied, she nodded and stepped back. She grabbed Kourin's brush and fixed his hair back into the braid that he had worn the few other times when he had chosen to wear these clothes. She smiled at him and stepped back.
"What would I do without you, Emi-chan?" Nuriko said with a smile.
She smiled, "Undoubtedly, you would never have clean clothing or a neat appearance ever again." The twinkle in her eyes let Nuriko know that she was joking.
He gestured for her to sit down on the vanity chair, then took her hand in his, "I'm serious, Emi-chan. In all the time that you've served me -- especially in these past three months -- I don't know that I ever said thank you. I owe you more than that. Aside from the other seishi, you're the only person here who ever accepted me. I owe you a lot for that... More than I can ever repay."
Emi patted his hand lightly, "I know. And there is no need for you to repay me for it. I know you appreciate what I do for you and that is enough payment for me. I've come to care for you quite a lot over the past year and a half." She smiled, "If a servant may be so presumptuous as to say so, I have come to think of you as the sister I never had. It's enough."
Nuriko clasped her hand tightly and said quietly, "It seems that inexplicably these days, I am overly blessed with friends that I don't deserve. And what is being a 'servant' but the job you do? Do we define ourselves by our jobs or by who we are?" Looking earnestly into the older woman's eyes, he smiled, "I think I would rather be defined by who I am than what I do... and who I am likes who you are and would be honored to be thought of as your sister."
Emi's answering grin was all the benediction he needed. She raised a hand to pat lightly at his cheek, "Then I will think of you in that way from this day forward: as my beloved imouto." She lowered her hand and allowed her smile to turn impish, "And if you would take your beloved onee-san's advice, I would suggest that you go find Kechiko. After all, you are dressed fit to ride and should enjoy the day while us older folk clean up after you."
With a laugh and a willful smile, Nuriko stood up from the vanity, heart lighter than it had felt in years, "An excellent idea, Emi-neesan! I think I'll do just that..."
Hotohori looked up from his papers with weary resignation. The sound of Galaxy's clarion call had become a familiar one of late. Keen eyes searching the field, he finally spotted Galaxy's dark bulk with Nuriko on his back. Ever since Tamahome had left, Nuriko had been riding the poor stallion into the ground as though the horse could take the place of his lost friend. He shook his head lightly, thinking that he was almost glad that he was not outside with Nuriko and Galaxy in one of those moods. The hoof beats stopped just outside his office, and he could hear Nuriko swing down from Galaxy's saddle, nearly breathless with delight. He watched as the other seishi kissed Galaxy on the nose, telling him over and over what a wonderful, sweet boy he was. Galaxy melted under the praise, ears bent forwards to catch each syllable that Nuriko uttered. It was amazing how young the boy looked at times like this... how unguarded. It was still hard to believe that the earnest young man cooing to Kechiko's prized stallion was the same Lady Kourin who had so petrified his court all this last year and a half.
Finally, Nuriko looped Galaxy's reins over his head and left him to graze. He knocked lightly on Hotohori's outer door. The Emperor motioned for Nuriko to come in. Nuriko slipped inside the office and shut the door. He took a deep breath before turning to face the Emperor. It was almost endearing, how uncertain the feminine seishi looked. Hotohori gave him a patient smile, "Yes, Nuriko? What is it?"
Nuriko blurted out, "You know that Tama-chan left?"
Hotohori frowned, bemused by the non-sequitur. One thing was certain... even though the other seishi now spent less time as a woman, Nuriko had not lost one iota of his ability to be mysteriously incomprehensible. Taking the plunge, he fed the other man the straight line he was so obviously seeking, "I was aware, yes."
Nuriko lowered his gaze, "If it's not too much trouble, Hotohori-sama, I'd like to go home, as well..."
Hotohori frowned, still confused, "But I thought you said you were born in the city. You don't need my permission to-- " He trailed off when he saw Nuriko shaking his head, "Ah, I see. You'd like to visit your adoptive parents, you mean. Why?"
Nuriko looked back up at him and wrung his fingers, "I've been thinking, and... in light of everything that has happened, I think I should tell them the truth." Raising his eyes to meet the Emperor's, he added quietly, "I can't move on from this and live with the honor a seishi should have if I still have this lie and this debt sitting on my conscience."
Hotohori tapped a finger against his chin, "While I can understand that, Nuriko, to tell the truth, I would rather not have you both gone from the Palace at once. And the trip to your parents' estate is not a short one." He paused, then continued, "Also, I have the strangest feeling that I will need you here this week. Silly, I know, but I just... I don't know."
Nuriko took a step forwards as though with proximity he could change the Emperor's mind, "But- "
Hotohori shook his head, "How about a deal, hmm? If nothing happens within a week, you can go with my blessing." He held out his hand to shake Nuriko's.
Nuriko stared at it as if it were some sort of amazing creature. He grasped it gently but firmly and shook it once, seeming to revel in the feeling. He turned his eyes to meet Hotohori's, "I believe that to be more than fair, heika-sama. You have a deal." He reluctantly released the Emperor's hand and then stymied in his plans, left to go figure out what to do with himself for the rest of the week.
He returned Galaxy to the stable and thanked Kechiko, his mind still working furiously on the puzzle. He went back to his quarters and bathed, changing back into his dress and putting his hair up. He took his time, the Emperor's words making him want to look special for some reason. He put on his make-up and admired his reflection for a moment, feeling an excitement building within his being. After all, he had given both Tamahome and the Emperor lessons while they'd been here biding their time, and as a result, all three had become far more receptive to the nuances of spiritual energy than they had been. If the Emperor felt that something was going to happen... then something would happen. However, until such a time as the "something" revealed itself, they could do nothing more than wait.
He left his chambers, and with nothing else to guide him, found himself aimlessly wandering the palace hallways, feeling something like Tama-chan must have with Miaka gone. And so it was that when he caught a glimpse of a girl in a brown uniform he at first thought he must be hallucinating. But the feel of that other mind... now that he'd had it back in his once, he would not lose sight of it again. He raced to the outer hallway, heart singing from that moment's brief connection, and called out, "Miaka-chan??" The figure turned back to him and beamed him a dazzling smile, "Nuriko!"
With that smile, Nuriko felt his own heart lift off and take flight. Until that moment, he'd been unaware how deeply it had fallen. He grabbed his imouto's hands and jumped about with her, overjoyed beyond belief that the Emperor had been right. However, just as he was starting to get into the celebratory mood Miaka suddenly stopped and pulled a serious face, "Nuriko?"
Stunned by the abrupt mood change, he facefaulted, "Don't get serious on me all of a sudden!"
Miaka gave him an embarrassed little smile, before her face sobered once again, "Nuriko... where's Tamahome? I looked all over, but couldn't seem to find him anywhere."
Nuriko's heart went out to her at that plaintive query. Wrapping an arm around the girl's shoulders he pulled her close, knowing there was no way to sugarcoat what he was about to say. Walking her back towards his own rooms so they could at least have this conversation in private, Nuriko finally admitted, "Tamahome left several days ago. He said that he had to earn some money and couldn't do that here..."
She was righteously indignant when she heard this, and very upset that Tamahome hadn't had the faith to wait for her. She ranted on and on and finally nearly stormed out of Nuriko's room to leave the palace to find Tamahome herself. Nuriko lightly grabbed her arm, reluctant as always to turn his seishi strength on his miko and counting on his words to slow her impassioned flight, "Wait, wait! Miaka, for Suzaku's sake, wait!"
She scowled at him, but he held up a finger, "Just wait a moment, will you? Give me a moment to change and we'll go find him together, all right, Miaka?"
Latching on to the one thing that Nuriko had hoped she might miss, Miaka frowned, "Change?"
Nuriko shifted uncomfortably, "I've learned that I can't protect you very well in women's clothing..." Before she could respond, he had grabbed his tunic and pants and ducked behind the screen to show her what he could not easily explain in words. He redid his hair while still behind the screen, then took a deep breath and stepped out from behind it. It was somewhat anticlimactic, therefore, when he found Miaka ignoring him completely and instead absorbed in something that she'd found on his vanity. It was with no small amount of surprise that Miaka saw that it was Kourin's brush that had caught his miko's eye...
She had a delicate frown on her face, as if she were trying to remember something. She turned her face up to him and said, "Ne, Nuriko... have I seen this before?" He mutely shook his head and she turned back to studying the brush, "There's writing on the back, but I can't read the characters. What does it say?"
Nuriko took the brush from Miaka's hands and turned it over in his own. He knew those words by heart, but still felt the need to look upon them as he read them. Nearly choking on the words, he read quietly, "Wo ai ni, imouto. Happy Birthday. -Your niichan, Ryuuen..." Then finally getting his breathing firmly back under control, Nuriko handed the brush back to her.
Miaka frowned again, still going over the brush, then she paused and turned a questioning look at Nuriko. Understanding wordlessly what his miko wanted, he smiled, and took the brush from her. He undid the buns on her head and brushed out her hair, part of him barely believing what he was doing. Miaka leaned back into the brushstrokes, reminding him vaguely of Galaxy as she did so, though he knew as well as any girl that having one's hair brushed is one of the most relaxing and wonderful feelings in the world. When he was done, he tied her hair back up and patted her back. She smiled and put a hand to her hair, "So soft..."
Nuriko suddenly realized what he must do and why Taiitsu-kun had denied him the opportunity to bond closer to Miaka before she'd left. He had not been ready to take on that closeness. Seeking to have Kourin back in his life in whatever way he could, he had almost ignored the most important thing... that while Miaka had been Kourin... Miaka was not now Kourin. In order to have Miaka in his life now, he would have to start letting go of the past and embrace the future. And this small piece of it could be the bridge. He pushed the brush back into her hands, "Miaka-chan, I want you to have it." She protested, arguing that it was his brush and whoever gave it to him must have loved him a whole lot to write such a nice message. He nearly burst out laughing at her words. After all, he had been the gift-giver and she the receiver! He smiled, "It's all right, Miaka-chan, I want you to have it. Really. Please... It would mean a lot."
Miaka looked up at him at that last, a puzzled look on her face. Nuriko blushed, caught without a ready explanation. Well, maybe he couldn't give her all of it... but he could give her a piece of the truth, just the same, "I-I just want you to have something of mine... Something for you to have in case you have to leave again."
Miaka smiled and cradled the brush to her chest, finally accepting the gift. She reached up and gave him a light kiss on the cheek. With a bittersweet smile, Nuriko recognized the gesture as one a sister might give, "Thank you, Nuriko... I'll treasure it." She pulled back then, finally taking a closer look at him. Her eyes went all starry and she let out a shriek of delight, "Oh my G-d! Nuriko... I can't believe it! You're good looking as a guy!" Nuriko flushed a brilliant shade of scarlet as Miaka dragged him down the hall to the Emperor's throne room.
Hotohori looked on in amusement as Miaka hung all over a very embarrassed Nuriko. The other seishi obviously wasn't used to being fawned over by a woman and Hotohori found it very funny to see the table turned on him like it was. When Miaka made her request, he watched Nuriko's face. There was such a fierce look in his eyes... As if he would kill anything that dared to threaten Miaka. Even Tamahome's eyes hadn't looked so fiercely determined when protecting his love. Hotohori had to wonder at Nuriko's motives... But one thing was certain, Nuriko would keep Miaka safe or die trying -- whatever the reason. Quite a turn-a-round from his earlier attitude... He gave them permission to go, and gave them the Suzaku no Shi Jin Ten Chi Sho as added insurance. Silently he begged Nuriko to keep Miaka safe, since he could not.
Once they had permission, Nuriko and Miaka left the palace with as little fanfare as they could manage. Traveling with only the two of them, they would be safer in anonymity. Nuriko mounted the gelding they had been given, then reached down to lift Miaka into place behind him. She wrapped her arms securely about his waist, pressing her small body into his back. Nuriko's heart started beating a little too rapidly. It was hard to believe, even after having three months to process the idea, that he really had his imouto back... And now he would have this entire journey alone with her! In a way, it was like being able to fulfill a promise to his sister that had sat too long unkept -- his promise to take her on adventures with him when he grew to be a seishi. It was nothing like he'd imagined it would be... but in some ways, it was better. He kicked the horse into a canter, eager to be on their way.
After several minutes passed with no words from Miaka, Nuriko grew worried. It wasn't like Miaka to be so still, so quiet. In that regard, they were very alike. But Nuriko knew from past experience that if he broached the subject with her directly, Miaka was simply turn on her considerable charm and try to divert him from discovering whatever it was that was bothering her. Maybe there was another way. Maybe if he listened, he would be able to hear his miko's thoughts as he had that day he'd almost lost her... Bringing his senses to bear on the silence that sat uneasily behind him, his patience was soon rewarded.
~What if he really doesn't love me? Maybe that's why he left...~ Nuriko knew that it was Miaka's thoughts he was hearing -- they could belong to no one else. Stung by the pain and anxiety he could clearly hear in his miko's thoughts, he could not just leave it at that. He spoke up quietly, his voice sounding deeper than it had in years, "Miaka-chan, you should have seen Tama-chan when you were gone! He was so distracted and depressed. He walked into walls and even ate plates! He was completely gone. Because he missed you, Miaka-chan. He loves you... he just doesn't know how to show it, yet."
Miaka didn't respond, but the tightening of her arms around his waist convinced Nuriko that his words had eased her worries. He hadn't had long to savor his victory, however, when the sky began to darken around them. Reminded too forcefully of the last time that had happened, Nuriko urged the horse on faster, not wanting to be caught by whatever darkness seemed to be massing in the shadows of the forest. Suddenly his horse reared up and Miaka fell to the ground. He fought with the rearing horse, trying desperately to calm him so he wouldn't trample Miaka, all the while scenes of Kourin's first death fluttered through his thoughts. When the horse was finally under control, he leaned over, terrified that he had been too late getting the gelding calmed, "Miaka! Are you all right??" Before she could respond, they were surrounded. The horse's reins were grabbed and Nuriko was pulled roughly from the saddle.
A figure wielding a scythe walked slowly towards Miaka, his figure cloaked in shadows. Nuriko remembered hearing rumors of assassins hired to kill Suzaku no Miko and hurriedly shrugged off his captors to rush to Miaka's side. He should have learned his lesson after his first solo journey! Better to move more slowly and have a full escort, hell, a whole army. Damn it! Before he got to her, however, the menacing figure dropped his weapon and Miaka flew into his arms. It took a moment for understanding to filter through, then with a sigh of relief, Nuriko recognized Tamahome. There was a fleeting stab of jealousy when he saw how happy Miaka was to see the other seishi, but he quickly shook it off. He had no right to be jealous. Then Tamahome eyes tracked towards him and his face alit with genuine joy at the sight of the older seishi. He gave Nuriko a broad smile and the feminine seishi could feel his face flush at the open warmth in that gaze.
Tamahome introduced them to the group of people he was defending. He'd not had time to tell Tamahome that they had been traveling less than openly, but realized with relief that the younger boy had only told the leader of the group of men with him that Miaka was Suzaku no miko. But how then would Nuriko be explained...?
Tamahome didn't give him long to wonder as he slapped the older boy's back and proclaimed, "And this guy's gay!"
Nuriko's face went white, then red and he advanced on Tamahome to give him a good, hard whack on the head, "Tama-chan!" Even though he feared that the words were more true than the other seishi knew, that didn't mean he wanted it spread around any further than it had been already!
With an apologetic smile, Tamahome amended his statement, "No really, he's a Suzaku Seishi -- Nuriko."
Nuriko nodded in satisfaction. That was better. But, before he could really have time to celebrate his "victory" he heard Miaka cry out, too late for him to do anything. A pair of arms pulled her from the clearing and Tamahome gave chase. Nuriko was about to do the same when he saw a flash of light out of the corner of his eye. He turned and...
Sweet Suzaku!! He was thrown back against a tree by the wind of several heavy arrows and barely managed to pull all his limbs out of the way of the rest. He squeezed his eyes shut, almost not wanting to know if he'd lost something important to the arrows and unable to feel any pain past the adrenaline surging through his system. He peeled an eye open and looked down at himself. There was no damage, sure, but it had been awfully close!
He heard a gasp behind him and lowered his leg from the awkward position it was in. His eyes took in the carnage around him with a heavy heart. Not everyone had been as lucky as he. Eyeing the pools of gore surrounding him, Nuriko fought the urge to throw up. Everyone was dead. Everyone. He heard Tamahome and Miaka's frantic questions as they returned and answered as best he could. He pulled an arrow from the trunk near his head and snapped it in two. Assassins. It had to be. After Miaka. He was grateful that whoever it was had pulled her out of the clearing before they had gotten to her. He didn't know what he would have done if she had been killed... again.
Tamahome led them back to the town to tell the people of the things that they had seen, and the awful fate which had befallen their brothers. Nuriko pulled Miaka into the safe circle of his arms as Tamahome told the sad tale. She leaned into his embrace, burying her face in his chest. He kissed the top of her head and held her closer.
Having lost track of time as he held his imouto in his arms, the hand that descended onto his shoulder caused him to jump slightly. It was only Tamahome. The younger boy glanced at Miaka, who was all but asleep in Nuriko's arms. A look of tender affection crossed his features and he held out his arms to lift Miaka into them. He was therefore extremely startled when he met with resistance. He lifted an eyebrow at the older seishi, "Nuriko? We should put her to sleep..."
Instead of handing over Miaka like Tamahome expected him to do, Nuriko lifted her into his arms, cradling her small body against his chest. He wasn't ready to let her go... not yet. But Tamahome was right -- she should be in a bed. Nuriko nodded, "Show me the way."
Tamahome frowned, but did so. What was with Nuriko? Of all people, Nuriko knew how deeply he cared for Miaka and the last he'd checked, Nuriko liked men, specifically a certain Emperor. When had he decided that he was straight? Tamahome felt a surge of jealousy well up in his being, but quashed it. Nuriko had been a dear friend to him while Miaka had been gone. He wouldn't do something that would wreck that friendship... would he? He pointed Nuriko towards the room they would share and made some excuse to go outside so he could watch from the window.
He was extremely startled at what he saw. Nuriko laid Miaka down on the bed and tugged off her clothes, pulling on her pajamas with the ease of long familiarity. He tucked her into the covers and sat watching her with a tender smile on his face. He gently brushed Miaka's bangs off of her face and placed a small kiss on her forehead. Tamahome resisted the urge to throw open the door and demand to know what was going on. It was painfully obvious what was going on! Nuriko was after his beloved! He clenched his fists at his side. One thing was for certain, though -- he and Nuriko were going to have a long talk about this...
Nuriko stared down at Miaka, a sweet smile on his face at her quiet snoring. He brushed her bangs out of her eyes and pressed a light kiss to her brow. "Imouto-chan... You have no idea what it means to me to have you here and safe, to have you back where I can, once again, watch over you. I love you..." He pressed another light kiss to each of Miaka's cheeks and one to the tip of her upturned nose, then slowly stood, still watching Miaka's sleeping form. He counted each rise and fall of her chest, each precious breath, as if it were the most marvelous thing in the world. And perhaps it was...
Reluctantly, Nuriko walked away from the bed to go find his pack. He was startled by a growl from behind him. He spun to find Tamahome watching him with fire in his eyes. His own eyes widened in response, He looks like he's ready to kill me! He backed up a pace from the look in Tamahome's eyes. Tamahome growled again, "Outside, please? I want to talk to you..." With that last comment, he stalked away.
Nuriko swallowed heavily, knees shaking slightly. Where the hell had that come from and what was the matter with that stupid boy? He was acting, for all the world, like some kind of, of... Oh dear. Like some kind of jealous lover. He glanced in Miaka's direction as he walked towards the door. And how the hell do I explain this one without sounding completely insane?
Reaching the low porch, Nuriko quickly spotted the other seishi. Tamahome was gripping the wooden rail so tightly that it creaked. He didn't look all too happy... Warily, Nuriko approached the still and silent figure, "Tama-chan...? What's the matter?"
Tamahome rounded on him, slamming him back into the railing, "What's the matter?? How dare you ask me that! I see you fawning all over the woman I love and you ask me what's the matter?? I trusted you, Nuriko! But perhaps I shouldn't have! Sliding into my good graces just to steal Miaka out from under me... wasn't the Emperor enough for you?"
With a curse, Tamahome quickly decided that the shock and betrayal in the other boy's eyes couldn't be fake. He let up a little when Nuriko started to shake slightly. The older boy's mouth opened once or twice, finally producing a small whimper. He hung his head, his voice quiet, "Nothing I say will convince you otherwise, will it? You've already made up your mind that I could betray you like that. I suppose that I don't deserve your trust... but all the same, I thought I had it." His eyes when they finally rose from their lowered position, were extremely sad.
Tamahome stepped back a couple of feet. "I'm willing to listen to an explanation, if you have one." He thought he was being more than generous.
Nuriko snorted, shaking his head, slowly, "Not one that you would believe, Tamahome-kun." He turned, facing the forest, eyes gazing up at the stars. "Would it satisfy you to know that I look on Miaka as a sister and nothing more? Is that enough of an explanation?"
Tamahome walked over to stand next to him, though not quite willing to meet his eyes, yet. "Do you mean that? Really mean it?"
Nuriko nodded, "I do. Miaka means more to me than my own life, but I can't tell you why. It wouldn't be right. But believe me when I tell you that I would never get between you. She means too much to me to ruin her happiness that way. You, as well, Tamahome... you're one of the only friends I have. That friendship is also very important to me and having lived without its like for far too long, I would not betray it."
Tamahome let out a breath, "All right. If that's all that there is to this, then I apologize for misunderstanding your intentions."
Nuriko turned to go back inside, whispering, "Take care of her Tamahome-kun. In case some day, I can not." With those cryptic words, Nuriko went back to their room to go to sleep, leaving Tamahome feeling almost bruised by the conversation. Like so many things involving the feminine seishi, there was clearly more to this situation than met the eye. But just as surely as he knew that, Tamahome also knew that he would get no further explanation out of the older seishi. He would just have to bide his time... and wait.
And now for some chibi silliness!
Nuriko: Well... I think it's an improvement... I'm not sure I can tell anymore.
Berger: *sweatdrop* It's an improvement. Trust me.
Claude: Yeah, take it from us. We should know.
Tasuki: *twitch* Who the hell are they?
Nuriko: *sigh* *patpats the Tasuki* Claude and Berger -- new fic chibis. I think Renee-chan is almost as obsessed with them as she is with me these days. Ironically enough... I find I don't mind.
Tasuki: Well... if you're sure...
Nuriko: I am, except that at this rate, they'll get sex before we will.
Tasuki: *splutters*
Renee-chan: *furious blushing* Who said anything about anyone getting sex???
Nuriko: *twitch* OKNevermind.
Berger: *blinkblinks* What?
Nuriko: *stage whispers* Never piss off the fic author. Ever. Trust me.
How dare he! Nuriko fumed as he paced back and forth in his rooms. It wasn't as though his situation weren't bad enough. To have the Emperor dangling a friendship in front of his face as though he had any right to do it! As though he meant it... Well, Nuriko was no idiot and he was not blind. It was the Emperor's fault that he was in this predicament. And what could he do about it now? It was a futile wish that the servants hadn't spread this particularly juicy piece of gossip around by now.
Pacing feverishly, Nuriko tried to determine his next move. He could go to dinner tonight, dressed as he was, and deal with the consequences... or he could go dressed as usual, as Lady Kourin. Neither option seemed very promising. A little voice in the back of his mind prompted that there was a third option. He could go, dressed however he liked, and take dinner with the Emperor and Tamahome. They'd dined that way several times before Miaka had left. But after his encounter with the Emperor this afternoon, he was feeling anything but charitable towards the man and didn't wish to give him the satisfaction of running to him for protection.
After a few more minutes of pacing, Nuriko made up his mind. Stripping out of his tunic and pants, he took one of his nicer dresses from the closet and pulled it on. It was reassuring, the feeling of those layers of soft silks. It was comforting. Calling for Emi, he sat down at the vanity. Without a word, she brushed his hair and pulled it up into a style that "Lady Kourin" had favored. She applied make-up to his face and straightened his clothing. Nuriko couldn't help but admire the woman's handiwork. He looked just as he had when he was masquerading as a woman. It was a vain hope, he knew, but still he hoped that the rumors hadn't spread... that there was a chance, however slim, that he might pick up at least a part of his former life undamaged. He again ignored that traitorous little voice that whispered, But do you want to...?
A gong rang in the courtyard, signifying a start to evening court. Nuriko stood slowly and headed towards the dining area. As soon as he reached it, Nuriko realized that his worst suspicions were true. The lords and servants sneered as they saw him, laughed in his face as he walked by. His hair and clothes were forcefully tugged, feet held out to trip him more than once. Rude comments reached his ears, staining his cheeks a delicate pink. By the time he reached his spot at the main table, Nuriko felt his composure beginning to slip. One of his chief rivals at court, Lady Mariko, slipped delicately into his seat. She smiled cruelly at him and laughed, "You aren't wanted here, sir. Perhaps you should leave."
All conversation stopped and all eyes turned to him. Though, on some level, he'd been expecting exactly this reaction, Nuriko was still caught off guard by the open hostility in the faces ranged around him. One of the younger lords that he'd been particularly nasty to of late stood up and added his own two cents, "Your kind isn't wanted here. Go crawl back into your father's bed where you belong." Nuriko took a step back, all color draining from his face. More and more people stood up, eager to add their own insults. Deciding that discretion was the better part of valor and not wanting to be at the center of a court-wide brawl, Nuriko gathered what dignity he could and turned and left the room.
He should have expected that it wouldn't end there. He really should have. He'd played too many cruel games with too many innocent people, and many who were not so innocent. He should have known that they wouldn't pass up this opportunity to see him humbled. Not 30 steps from the courtyard and his retreat was abruptly halted by a firm grip on his left arm. He froze, turned to glare at the one who dared manhandle him thus. It would be easy enough to break the man's grip were he to use his seishi powers. Something, though... something held him back. It felt wrong somehow. After all, it wasn't as though this punishment was undeserved. Shocked into stillness by that thought, he allowed another to grab his right arm and didn't even notice when they were surrounded by the men's other compatriots. All were lords that he had slighted in the past. A third lord of his former entourage was standing before him, cracking his knuckles. He gave Nuriko an evil smile, "Well now, pretty boy. We were thinking, now that you're a man, we can treat you like one. We're here to get some of our own back..."
Nuriko knew what was coming -- how could he not know? And he knew he could stop it, could have the men off him and trampled beneath his feet in a matter of minutes. But he just couldn't do it. For they were right and this was just. He had lied. He had committed cruel acts. He had played these men off each other, bringing shame to many of them. And now? Now his honor was in question. And having had a taste of what it was like to have that honor, having had a taste of being a seishi... this life he had led seemed ever more unclean. Were he anyone else, he'd have been executed for these crimes, but the Emperor had not even punished him for them. Bowing his head and feeling the prickle of tears in the back of his eyes, Nuriko said only, "Do your worst, my lords. I won't even deny that I deserve it."
The man in front of Nuriko sneered at his reluctance to fight and let loose a punch that landed right in the center of his stomach, knocking the wind out of him. His dress was torn as his knees buckled. Another punch landed in the center of his back, knocking him to the ground. He moaned quietly, then cut it off. He would not complain, he would not protest, he would not fight back. He deserved this. Doing nothing more to protect himself than to cover his head with his arms, he let the blows rain down.
After a time, Nuriko had no idea how much, a flare of red light caused him to look up. Even in his befuddled state, Nuriko would have recognized the feel of the ogre's chi. Tamahome had arrived. He took care of the three lords who had played the largest parts in this fiasco, then growled menacingly at those remaining. They were no fools and knew better than to tangle with one of the seishi when riled. They quit the scene as quickly as they could. Tamahome then knelt to help Nuriko sit up. Nuriko pulled away from him, shivering and trying vainly to pull together the torn remains of his dress. Tamahome brushed a lock of hair from his face, "Nuriko? Why didn't you fight back? With your strength, you could have taken them all on single-handed. Are you all right?"
Nuriko shook his head violently, holding his stomach with one hand. To his bitter shame, he felt that earlier prickle of tears shake loose and begin tracking their way down his face. Raising one hand to his mouth, he tried desperately to reign in the sobs. No... he was not all right. He didn't think he would ever be all right again. He was perverted, dirty, unclean... and he had no honor. As a man, he was a complete failure and he could no longer be what his heart screamed that he was -- a woman. He had deserved that beating -- he deserved worse than that. He didn't deserve this gentle understanding, this extended hand of friendship, especially from yet another that he'd willfully hurt. He wanted to scream at the younger man not to get close, not to let Nuriko's shame rub off on him, but he was afraid to open his mouth... afraid that if he did, he would start screaming and be unable to stop.
Tamahome seemed to sense that Nuriko was incapable of answering and starting murmuring soothing nonsense to him as he approached. Nuriko felt a nearly hysterical giggle rising to fight with the tears. Apparently all men think I'm some sort of easily spooked horse... Once he was close enough to do so, Tamahome eased an arm around Nuriko's shoulders and pulled the older seishi to rest against his warm chest. He began lightly stroking Nuriko's back and quietly telling him that it was all right. That was the final nail in the coffin of Nuriko's self control. He turned to the younger man, buried his face in that broad chest and burst into hysterical sobs.
Hotohori had not returned to his desk that day. Instead he had taken a long walk through the woods, trying to sort out his feelings -- his feelings over Miaka's leaving, Tamahome's obvious love for Miaka, Nuriko's true identity... and what he truly felt for the indigo-haired seishi. Were his motives as pure as he had thought them? Or was Nuriko right? Had he been leading the other man on with only the intent of hurting him later? There was so much to think about his head had begun to hurt. When he saw the sky begin to darken, he had reluctantly headed back to the palace, thoughts no better sorted than before.
A flare of red light made him turn his gaze to the left. That had to be one of his fellow seishi. He was not as adept as Nuriko at picking out the nuances of these feelings, but he thought it might be Tamahome. But why was the other man employing his seishi powers here? What threat could there possibly be? His heartbeat quickened and his hand clenched convulsively near his belt where his sword would be if he were wearing it. Well, no hope for it. This was his Court, perhaps his presence alone would be enough to dispel whatever situation he might find. He hastened towards that flare of energy. What he found when he arrived, however, surprised him. Tamahome, his aura having fading back down to normal levels, was lifting a battered and still Nuriko into his arms. Only this was Nuriko as they had always known him -- in full Court garb, as Lady Kourin. In spite of Nuriko's earlier promise, Hotohori felt an irrational fear seize his heart as he ran over. "What happened? Is he all right?" he blurted out.
Tamahome pulled the smaller seishi closer to his chest as he shook his head, "I'm not really sure. A gang of nobles was beating him up when I arrived. One of them said something about 'getting some of their own back'. I'm not really sure what happened, Hotohori-sama... but I know he was upset and I know he didn't even try to fight back. If he had, we'd be tending to them now, not him." He looked down at Nuriko's face, frowning.
Hotohori took a step closer, an equally confused frown on his own face. Not about what the lords had said -- that he understood all too well. After all, Lady Kourin had not been known for her kind and gentle nature... especially to the lords of the court. He'd felt her sting himself, all too often. No, what confused him was why Nuriko had not fought back against his attackers, and moreover, knowing that his secret was likely a secret no more, why had he even gone to take dinner with the Court? Why not wait and dine with them? The answer dawned on him in a flash of insight. Why had Nuriko risked his safety to dine with the Court? Because he was avoiding Hotohori. The Emperor felt a stab of guilt at that. In a way... he was responsible for this. He laid a gentle hand on Nuriko's head, Why is it, that even when I want most to hate you... I can't? He looked up at Tamahome, "How badly is he injured? Will he be all right?"
Tamahome started to walk and the Emperor fell into step with him, "I don't really know, Hotohori-sama. I haven't really had a chance to look, but I don't think they did any major damage. He should be all right with a little rest." Tamahome, though sorry that Nuriko had gotten hurt, was almost glad for this distraction. His mind had been far too much on Miaka since her departure. He hadn't thought that he felt anything special for the girl before, had not believed her when she'd professed her love to him... but now, he wasn't so sure anymore. First when she'd gone missing, then when she'd been so injured and now that she was gone altogether... He missed the girl more than he'd thought he would. It was starting to depress him. And certainly Nuriko was no Miaka... but taking care of him would at least keep his mind off the other girl. He turned to the Emperor, surprised that he was still with them. Surely the man had more important things to do with his time? He offered the man a reassuring smile, "I'll see him safely back to his room, heika-sama. You should go eat."
Hotohori, for his part, was shocked to realize that he was being dismissed. He, the Emperor, was being dismissed! He opened his mouth to protest, then reconsidered. He could better serve his fellow seishi by finding and punishing the men who had done this. He would make sure that the entire court knew that the seishi were not to be treated with such disrespect, no matter their station in life. He nodded curtly and stalked off towards the dining room. His Court had an awful lot of explaining to do...
Nuriko woke slowly to a dull throbbing in his back and stomach. He was sore all over. He felt something cold and wet settle on his brow. He tried to shrink away from the touch, I don't deserve this... Please go away, whoever you are... Reluctantly prying his eyes open, he found Tamahome sitting by his bedside and giving him a gentle smile, "Feeling any better?"
Nuriko put a hand to his head and removed the cold compress. He sat up and Tamahome moved to put a pillow behind his back. The younger seishi's eyes were concerned. Nuriko looked away, unable to bear the honest worry in those grey eyes. He answered in a harsh whisper, "Why did you interfere? I didn't need your help."
Tamahome frowned, "With all due respect, Nuriko, I think you did. They could have really done you harm! Is that what you wanted?"
A flinch for the bald truth in that outraged statement. Shrugging helplessly, Nuriko said, "It was no more than I deserved."
The younger man stared at him for a moment, then took both of his shoulders in his hands and shook him. Nuriko's gaze snapped up to meet his eyes, startled. Tamahome shook him again, for some reason more angry than was really appropriate, "No one deserves that kind of treatment. No one, Nuriko." It was wrong... this was all so very wrong. Lady Kourin had been confidant, haughty, self-righteous. Nuriko, stripped of his alter ego, seemed to have lost the few good qualities that said alter ego had possessed. He seemed adrift... lost. Tamahome felt a small stab of guilt. He and Hotohori-sama had known that, had seen it on the journey back, and had done nothing. A few words of reassurance, just one small kindness, could have shown Nuriko that he had their support. Instead... they'd thrown him to the wolves. Well, he was going to make sure, from now on, that Nuriko knew that he was safe with the other seishi. It was all he could do. Pulling the smaller man up against him, as he had earlier that night, he said, "You've done nothing wrong, Nuriko. Nothing at all. So, please, don't do anything like this again. Next time they corner you, fight back -- better yet, just don't let them corner you at all. Stay near me or Hotohori-sama if you have to."
Nuriko swallowed hard and made a helpless gesture with one of his hands, "But they were right, Tamahome. I did plenty wrong before. I was cruel, I was dishonest..." His voice dropped into a whisper, "There's something really wrong with me, Tamahome. I know that you all thought this was some great joke, but it wasn't... not to me. I can't just stop wearing dresses and start wearing pants and it will all change. In every way that matters, except one, I am a woman. As a woman, I'm beautiful, I'm desired, I'm confidant. As a man..." His breath hitched, "As a man, I'm a failure. I'm a pervert. I have no honor." His voice rose into a pitiful wail, "They all hate me. The Emperor hates me. I'm useless like this... What possible place can there be in this world for someone like me?"
Tamahome was shocked into silence by the raw pain in that outburst. And he was ashamed. Miaka had seen this. She had seen the desperate fear and loneliness that Nuriko was hiding from all others. She had seen it when Nuriko had been Lady Kourin, her tormentor. And she had known that this almost fragile, gentle soul was what lay underneath. Why had he and Hotohori not? He pulled the other seishi closer and began running a gentle hand through Nuriko's hair, "I don't hate you, Nuriko. The Emperor doesn't hate you, either. As for your place in this world... you're a seishi. Suzaku seishi Nuriko. That is your place. However you choose to fill it, it is yours alone. Not many people are lucky enough to have that kind of certainty of purpose. And as for what the court lords think... Why should you care? They can't touch you if you don't wish it. You are far more important to this land than any 100 of them."
Nuriko leaned back and stared at him in shock, unable to process all that the younger man had said beyond that bit about he and the Emperor not hating him. Tamahome continued, "They look at me funny, too, you know. They always have, ever since I got here." At Nuriko's confused look, he smiled, "I don't know whether to be pleased or insulted that you've already forgotten. I'm a peasant boy, Nuriko. There is no noble blood running in my veins. My father is a poor farmer." His eyes darkened as he spoke, "My family wears clothing that is the next step up from rags and can barely afford the house they live in and the food they eat. The lords look down on me, as well. Does it look to you like it bothers me?"
Nuriko shook his head mutely, not having a ready answer for Tamahome's questions. Tamahome pulled back to look down into Nuriko's eyes, his own intense and serious, "Ignore those fools if you can and give them hell if you can't." Then he smiled, "What happened to the person that every lord and lady in this Court used to fear crossing?" At Nuriko's blush, Tamahome's smile widened, "You are still that person, Nuriko. You just have to find a different way to show it."
His heavy heart already feeling two tons lighter thanks to Tamahome's simple faith, Nuriko finally smiled, "Apparently, I don't deserve you, either, Tamahome-san... But just as I told Miaka, I think I'll keep you all the same. Thank you, my friend. For your caring, for your honesty... I won't soon forget."
Relieved to see Nuriko finally acting more like himself, Tamahome stood up, "Good. Don't." Before he could say another word, however, his stomach let out a rather loud grumble.
Nuriko laughed at the blush which quickly overtook the other's face, "Why don't you go get your dinner, Tamahome. I'll just wash up and then I'll join you." As the younger man left, Nuriko couldn't help the happy smile that refused to leave his face. It might not be perfect, and he might need to work on it, but finally, at long last, he felt like he had found a home.
Three months later, Nuriko was looking back on that day with what could only be termed longing. Looking out for Tamahome had become a full time job, leaving him with no time to cement the fragile start to his new almost-friendship with the Emperor. With no one to protect, and no Miaka around to love, Tamahome had withdrawn into himself, often hurting himself in the process. Nuriko had taken to following him around the palace as he wandered aimlessly, banging into walls and doors indiscriminately. A time or two, only Nuriko's inhuman strength had saved them both from falling down the stairs or off the high plateaus near the lake. Tamahome didn't even notice when he finished his own food, yet continued to plow through the numerous dishes on the table, often quite literally. Nuriko was surprised that he hadn't cracked any teeth with his new diet of fine china.
Hotohori was hurting, too, Nuriko could see it... but, he didn't dare broach the subject to the Emperor. He still didn't entirely trust the man's about-face when it came to his claims of suddenly desiring a friendship. How could he? It was hard to cast off a year's worth of history, after all. He was only barely tolerated at court as it was, and only because he was a Suzaku Seishi. Hotohori had banished the three lords responsible for his beating, and the others pretty much kept away from him these days, but he was far from welcome here and he knew it. Yet, between looking after Tama-chan and listening to Emi's incessant gossip, Nuriko managed to fool himself into being happy.
He was currently standing in front of his closet, trying to select a dress for the day, as Emi cleaned up the bathing room. He heard a knock at his door and called for the person to enter -- he had given only two people standing dispensation to come into his rooms without Emi having to clear it with him first, and as Tamahome had so eloquently told him those three months past, he was safe with both of his fellow seishi. Still, he was nearly startled out of his wits when he saw Tamahome, dressed for travel, standing uncertainly in the doorway. He gestured for the younger boy to enter and picked out a dress for the day. He had only worn men's clothes once or twice after that first time. He still wasn't totally comfortable in them. He slipped behind the dressing screen, pulling on his dress and waiting for Tamahome to speak. He didn't do so until Nuriko was back in front of the screen.
He smiled sadly up at Nuriko, "I want to thank you for looking out for me, Nuriko. You've been a true friend these past few months. I owe you a great debt."
Nuriko shook his head, "No, Tamahome-kun, you don't owe me anything. It was no more than any other friend would have done..."
Tamahome let out a bitter chuckle, "It was, Nuriko, and you well know it. I've been pretty out of it..." He shook his head to clear it, "But that isn't what I came to say. I-I can't stay here any longer. I need to earn money and I can't do that here at the Palace."
Nuriko's heart froze and then started to pound at those words. These months had only been tolerable because of Tamahome and Emi. For just as Tamahome had been lost without a Miaka to protect, Nuriko would have nothing with which to fill his days were it not for his having to look out for Tamahome. What would he do without the younger boy to look after? Before he could get too steeped in his own worries, however, he remembered what Tamahome had said about his family. He met Tamahome's eyes and the other boy nodded once. Nuriko bowed his head, "Then I will place no roadblocks in your path, Tamahome. I know how difficult these past months have been for you, and I know your family needs you more than I ever could. If you feel you need it, you have my blessing."
He heard Tamahome rise and walk towards him. He closed his eyes, not all that eager to see his friend leave, in spite of his brave words. Tamahome leaned down and pressed a light kiss to Nuriko's forehead, then he was gone. Nuriko leaned back against the wall and raised a hand to touch the spot that Tamahome had just kissed. He drew in a shaky breath and finished getting ready, wondering what he was going to do with himself for the rest of the day. He stared at himself in the mirror and frowned, slowly pulling off the dress. He grabbed his pants and tunic and put them on.
He watched himself in the mirror for a while, trying to look more masculine and failing miserably. He slumped in front of the mirror and heaved a big sigh. I'll never look like a man... He heard soft footsteps behind him and turned to face Emi. She smiled at him and set to straightening his clothing. He chuckled at her fussing, "Chibi-kaasan..."
She smiled and hushed him, continuing to straighten his clothing. When she was finally satisfied, she nodded and stepped back. She grabbed Kourin's brush and fixed his hair back into the braid that he had worn the few other times when he had chosen to wear these clothes. She smiled at him and stepped back.
"What would I do without you, Emi-chan?" Nuriko said with a smile.
She smiled, "Undoubtedly, you would never have clean clothing or a neat appearance ever again." The twinkle in her eyes let Nuriko know that she was joking.
He gestured for her to sit down on the vanity chair, then took her hand in his, "I'm serious, Emi-chan. In all the time that you've served me -- especially in these past three months -- I don't know that I ever said thank you. I owe you more than that. Aside from the other seishi, you're the only person here who ever accepted me. I owe you a lot for that... More than I can ever repay."
Emi patted his hand lightly, "I know. And there is no need for you to repay me for it. I know you appreciate what I do for you and that is enough payment for me. I've come to care for you quite a lot over the past year and a half." She smiled, "If a servant may be so presumptuous as to say so, I have come to think of you as the sister I never had. It's enough."
Nuriko clasped her hand tightly and said quietly, "It seems that inexplicably these days, I am overly blessed with friends that I don't deserve. And what is being a 'servant' but the job you do? Do we define ourselves by our jobs or by who we are?" Looking earnestly into the older woman's eyes, he smiled, "I think I would rather be defined by who I am than what I do... and who I am likes who you are and would be honored to be thought of as your sister."
Emi's answering grin was all the benediction he needed. She raised a hand to pat lightly at his cheek, "Then I will think of you in that way from this day forward: as my beloved imouto." She lowered her hand and allowed her smile to turn impish, "And if you would take your beloved onee-san's advice, I would suggest that you go find Kechiko. After all, you are dressed fit to ride and should enjoy the day while us older folk clean up after you."
With a laugh and a willful smile, Nuriko stood up from the vanity, heart lighter than it had felt in years, "An excellent idea, Emi-neesan! I think I'll do just that..."
Hotohori looked up from his papers with weary resignation. The sound of Galaxy's clarion call had become a familiar one of late. Keen eyes searching the field, he finally spotted Galaxy's dark bulk with Nuriko on his back. Ever since Tamahome had left, Nuriko had been riding the poor stallion into the ground as though the horse could take the place of his lost friend. He shook his head lightly, thinking that he was almost glad that he was not outside with Nuriko and Galaxy in one of those moods. The hoof beats stopped just outside his office, and he could hear Nuriko swing down from Galaxy's saddle, nearly breathless with delight. He watched as the other seishi kissed Galaxy on the nose, telling him over and over what a wonderful, sweet boy he was. Galaxy melted under the praise, ears bent forwards to catch each syllable that Nuriko uttered. It was amazing how young the boy looked at times like this... how unguarded. It was still hard to believe that the earnest young man cooing to Kechiko's prized stallion was the same Lady Kourin who had so petrified his court all this last year and a half.
Finally, Nuriko looped Galaxy's reins over his head and left him to graze. He knocked lightly on Hotohori's outer door. The Emperor motioned for Nuriko to come in. Nuriko slipped inside the office and shut the door. He took a deep breath before turning to face the Emperor. It was almost endearing, how uncertain the feminine seishi looked. Hotohori gave him a patient smile, "Yes, Nuriko? What is it?"
Nuriko blurted out, "You know that Tama-chan left?"
Hotohori frowned, bemused by the non-sequitur. One thing was certain... even though the other seishi now spent less time as a woman, Nuriko had not lost one iota of his ability to be mysteriously incomprehensible. Taking the plunge, he fed the other man the straight line he was so obviously seeking, "I was aware, yes."
Nuriko lowered his gaze, "If it's not too much trouble, Hotohori-sama, I'd like to go home, as well..."
Hotohori frowned, still confused, "But I thought you said you were born in the city. You don't need my permission to-- " He trailed off when he saw Nuriko shaking his head, "Ah, I see. You'd like to visit your adoptive parents, you mean. Why?"
Nuriko looked back up at him and wrung his fingers, "I've been thinking, and... in light of everything that has happened, I think I should tell them the truth." Raising his eyes to meet the Emperor's, he added quietly, "I can't move on from this and live with the honor a seishi should have if I still have this lie and this debt sitting on my conscience."
Hotohori tapped a finger against his chin, "While I can understand that, Nuriko, to tell the truth, I would rather not have you both gone from the Palace at once. And the trip to your parents' estate is not a short one." He paused, then continued, "Also, I have the strangest feeling that I will need you here this week. Silly, I know, but I just... I don't know."
Nuriko took a step forwards as though with proximity he could change the Emperor's mind, "But- "
Hotohori shook his head, "How about a deal, hmm? If nothing happens within a week, you can go with my blessing." He held out his hand to shake Nuriko's.
Nuriko stared at it as if it were some sort of amazing creature. He grasped it gently but firmly and shook it once, seeming to revel in the feeling. He turned his eyes to meet Hotohori's, "I believe that to be more than fair, heika-sama. You have a deal." He reluctantly released the Emperor's hand and then stymied in his plans, left to go figure out what to do with himself for the rest of the week.
He returned Galaxy to the stable and thanked Kechiko, his mind still working furiously on the puzzle. He went back to his quarters and bathed, changing back into his dress and putting his hair up. He took his time, the Emperor's words making him want to look special for some reason. He put on his make-up and admired his reflection for a moment, feeling an excitement building within his being. After all, he had given both Tamahome and the Emperor lessons while they'd been here biding their time, and as a result, all three had become far more receptive to the nuances of spiritual energy than they had been. If the Emperor felt that something was going to happen... then something would happen. However, until such a time as the "something" revealed itself, they could do nothing more than wait.
He left his chambers, and with nothing else to guide him, found himself aimlessly wandering the palace hallways, feeling something like Tama-chan must have with Miaka gone. And so it was that when he caught a glimpse of a girl in a brown uniform he at first thought he must be hallucinating. But the feel of that other mind... now that he'd had it back in his once, he would not lose sight of it again. He raced to the outer hallway, heart singing from that moment's brief connection, and called out, "Miaka-chan??" The figure turned back to him and beamed him a dazzling smile, "Nuriko!"
With that smile, Nuriko felt his own heart lift off and take flight. Until that moment, he'd been unaware how deeply it had fallen. He grabbed his imouto's hands and jumped about with her, overjoyed beyond belief that the Emperor had been right. However, just as he was starting to get into the celebratory mood Miaka suddenly stopped and pulled a serious face, "Nuriko?"
Stunned by the abrupt mood change, he facefaulted, "Don't get serious on me all of a sudden!"
Miaka gave him an embarrassed little smile, before her face sobered once again, "Nuriko... where's Tamahome? I looked all over, but couldn't seem to find him anywhere."
Nuriko's heart went out to her at that plaintive query. Wrapping an arm around the girl's shoulders he pulled her close, knowing there was no way to sugarcoat what he was about to say. Walking her back towards his own rooms so they could at least have this conversation in private, Nuriko finally admitted, "Tamahome left several days ago. He said that he had to earn some money and couldn't do that here..."
She was righteously indignant when she heard this, and very upset that Tamahome hadn't had the faith to wait for her. She ranted on and on and finally nearly stormed out of Nuriko's room to leave the palace to find Tamahome herself. Nuriko lightly grabbed her arm, reluctant as always to turn his seishi strength on his miko and counting on his words to slow her impassioned flight, "Wait, wait! Miaka, for Suzaku's sake, wait!"
She scowled at him, but he held up a finger, "Just wait a moment, will you? Give me a moment to change and we'll go find him together, all right, Miaka?"
Latching on to the one thing that Nuriko had hoped she might miss, Miaka frowned, "Change?"
Nuriko shifted uncomfortably, "I've learned that I can't protect you very well in women's clothing..." Before she could respond, he had grabbed his tunic and pants and ducked behind the screen to show her what he could not easily explain in words. He redid his hair while still behind the screen, then took a deep breath and stepped out from behind it. It was somewhat anticlimactic, therefore, when he found Miaka ignoring him completely and instead absorbed in something that she'd found on his vanity. It was with no small amount of surprise that Miaka saw that it was Kourin's brush that had caught his miko's eye...
She had a delicate frown on her face, as if she were trying to remember something. She turned her face up to him and said, "Ne, Nuriko... have I seen this before?" He mutely shook his head and she turned back to studying the brush, "There's writing on the back, but I can't read the characters. What does it say?"
Nuriko took the brush from Miaka's hands and turned it over in his own. He knew those words by heart, but still felt the need to look upon them as he read them. Nearly choking on the words, he read quietly, "Wo ai ni, imouto. Happy Birthday. -Your niichan, Ryuuen..." Then finally getting his breathing firmly back under control, Nuriko handed the brush back to her.
Miaka frowned again, still going over the brush, then she paused and turned a questioning look at Nuriko. Understanding wordlessly what his miko wanted, he smiled, and took the brush from her. He undid the buns on her head and brushed out her hair, part of him barely believing what he was doing. Miaka leaned back into the brushstrokes, reminding him vaguely of Galaxy as she did so, though he knew as well as any girl that having one's hair brushed is one of the most relaxing and wonderful feelings in the world. When he was done, he tied her hair back up and patted her back. She smiled and put a hand to her hair, "So soft..."
Nuriko suddenly realized what he must do and why Taiitsu-kun had denied him the opportunity to bond closer to Miaka before she'd left. He had not been ready to take on that closeness. Seeking to have Kourin back in his life in whatever way he could, he had almost ignored the most important thing... that while Miaka had been Kourin... Miaka was not now Kourin. In order to have Miaka in his life now, he would have to start letting go of the past and embrace the future. And this small piece of it could be the bridge. He pushed the brush back into her hands, "Miaka-chan, I want you to have it." She protested, arguing that it was his brush and whoever gave it to him must have loved him a whole lot to write such a nice message. He nearly burst out laughing at her words. After all, he had been the gift-giver and she the receiver! He smiled, "It's all right, Miaka-chan, I want you to have it. Really. Please... It would mean a lot."
Miaka looked up at him at that last, a puzzled look on her face. Nuriko blushed, caught without a ready explanation. Well, maybe he couldn't give her all of it... but he could give her a piece of the truth, just the same, "I-I just want you to have something of mine... Something for you to have in case you have to leave again."
Miaka smiled and cradled the brush to her chest, finally accepting the gift. She reached up and gave him a light kiss on the cheek. With a bittersweet smile, Nuriko recognized the gesture as one a sister might give, "Thank you, Nuriko... I'll treasure it." She pulled back then, finally taking a closer look at him. Her eyes went all starry and she let out a shriek of delight, "Oh my G-d! Nuriko... I can't believe it! You're good looking as a guy!" Nuriko flushed a brilliant shade of scarlet as Miaka dragged him down the hall to the Emperor's throne room.
Hotohori looked on in amusement as Miaka hung all over a very embarrassed Nuriko. The other seishi obviously wasn't used to being fawned over by a woman and Hotohori found it very funny to see the table turned on him like it was. When Miaka made her request, he watched Nuriko's face. There was such a fierce look in his eyes... As if he would kill anything that dared to threaten Miaka. Even Tamahome's eyes hadn't looked so fiercely determined when protecting his love. Hotohori had to wonder at Nuriko's motives... But one thing was certain, Nuriko would keep Miaka safe or die trying -- whatever the reason. Quite a turn-a-round from his earlier attitude... He gave them permission to go, and gave them the Suzaku no Shi Jin Ten Chi Sho as added insurance. Silently he begged Nuriko to keep Miaka safe, since he could not.
Once they had permission, Nuriko and Miaka left the palace with as little fanfare as they could manage. Traveling with only the two of them, they would be safer in anonymity. Nuriko mounted the gelding they had been given, then reached down to lift Miaka into place behind him. She wrapped her arms securely about his waist, pressing her small body into his back. Nuriko's heart started beating a little too rapidly. It was hard to believe, even after having three months to process the idea, that he really had his imouto back... And now he would have this entire journey alone with her! In a way, it was like being able to fulfill a promise to his sister that had sat too long unkept -- his promise to take her on adventures with him when he grew to be a seishi. It was nothing like he'd imagined it would be... but in some ways, it was better. He kicked the horse into a canter, eager to be on their way.
After several minutes passed with no words from Miaka, Nuriko grew worried. It wasn't like Miaka to be so still, so quiet. In that regard, they were very alike. But Nuriko knew from past experience that if he broached the subject with her directly, Miaka was simply turn on her considerable charm and try to divert him from discovering whatever it was that was bothering her. Maybe there was another way. Maybe if he listened, he would be able to hear his miko's thoughts as he had that day he'd almost lost her... Bringing his senses to bear on the silence that sat uneasily behind him, his patience was soon rewarded.
~What if he really doesn't love me? Maybe that's why he left...~ Nuriko knew that it was Miaka's thoughts he was hearing -- they could belong to no one else. Stung by the pain and anxiety he could clearly hear in his miko's thoughts, he could not just leave it at that. He spoke up quietly, his voice sounding deeper than it had in years, "Miaka-chan, you should have seen Tama-chan when you were gone! He was so distracted and depressed. He walked into walls and even ate plates! He was completely gone. Because he missed you, Miaka-chan. He loves you... he just doesn't know how to show it, yet."
Miaka didn't respond, but the tightening of her arms around his waist convinced Nuriko that his words had eased her worries. He hadn't had long to savor his victory, however, when the sky began to darken around them. Reminded too forcefully of the last time that had happened, Nuriko urged the horse on faster, not wanting to be caught by whatever darkness seemed to be massing in the shadows of the forest. Suddenly his horse reared up and Miaka fell to the ground. He fought with the rearing horse, trying desperately to calm him so he wouldn't trample Miaka, all the while scenes of Kourin's first death fluttered through his thoughts. When the horse was finally under control, he leaned over, terrified that he had been too late getting the gelding calmed, "Miaka! Are you all right??" Before she could respond, they were surrounded. The horse's reins were grabbed and Nuriko was pulled roughly from the saddle.
A figure wielding a scythe walked slowly towards Miaka, his figure cloaked in shadows. Nuriko remembered hearing rumors of assassins hired to kill Suzaku no Miko and hurriedly shrugged off his captors to rush to Miaka's side. He should have learned his lesson after his first solo journey! Better to move more slowly and have a full escort, hell, a whole army. Damn it! Before he got to her, however, the menacing figure dropped his weapon and Miaka flew into his arms. It took a moment for understanding to filter through, then with a sigh of relief, Nuriko recognized Tamahome. There was a fleeting stab of jealousy when he saw how happy Miaka was to see the other seishi, but he quickly shook it off. He had no right to be jealous. Then Tamahome eyes tracked towards him and his face alit with genuine joy at the sight of the older seishi. He gave Nuriko a broad smile and the feminine seishi could feel his face flush at the open warmth in that gaze.
Tamahome introduced them to the group of people he was defending. He'd not had time to tell Tamahome that they had been traveling less than openly, but realized with relief that the younger boy had only told the leader of the group of men with him that Miaka was Suzaku no miko. But how then would Nuriko be explained...?
Tamahome didn't give him long to wonder as he slapped the older boy's back and proclaimed, "And this guy's gay!"
Nuriko's face went white, then red and he advanced on Tamahome to give him a good, hard whack on the head, "Tama-chan!" Even though he feared that the words were more true than the other seishi knew, that didn't mean he wanted it spread around any further than it had been already!
With an apologetic smile, Tamahome amended his statement, "No really, he's a Suzaku Seishi -- Nuriko."
Nuriko nodded in satisfaction. That was better. But, before he could really have time to celebrate his "victory" he heard Miaka cry out, too late for him to do anything. A pair of arms pulled her from the clearing and Tamahome gave chase. Nuriko was about to do the same when he saw a flash of light out of the corner of his eye. He turned and...
Sweet Suzaku!! He was thrown back against a tree by the wind of several heavy arrows and barely managed to pull all his limbs out of the way of the rest. He squeezed his eyes shut, almost not wanting to know if he'd lost something important to the arrows and unable to feel any pain past the adrenaline surging through his system. He peeled an eye open and looked down at himself. There was no damage, sure, but it had been awfully close!
He heard a gasp behind him and lowered his leg from the awkward position it was in. His eyes took in the carnage around him with a heavy heart. Not everyone had been as lucky as he. Eyeing the pools of gore surrounding him, Nuriko fought the urge to throw up. Everyone was dead. Everyone. He heard Tamahome and Miaka's frantic questions as they returned and answered as best he could. He pulled an arrow from the trunk near his head and snapped it in two. Assassins. It had to be. After Miaka. He was grateful that whoever it was had pulled her out of the clearing before they had gotten to her. He didn't know what he would have done if she had been killed... again.
Tamahome led them back to the town to tell the people of the things that they had seen, and the awful fate which had befallen their brothers. Nuriko pulled Miaka into the safe circle of his arms as Tamahome told the sad tale. She leaned into his embrace, burying her face in his chest. He kissed the top of her head and held her closer.
Having lost track of time as he held his imouto in his arms, the hand that descended onto his shoulder caused him to jump slightly. It was only Tamahome. The younger boy glanced at Miaka, who was all but asleep in Nuriko's arms. A look of tender affection crossed his features and he held out his arms to lift Miaka into them. He was therefore extremely startled when he met with resistance. He lifted an eyebrow at the older seishi, "Nuriko? We should put her to sleep..."
Instead of handing over Miaka like Tamahome expected him to do, Nuriko lifted her into his arms, cradling her small body against his chest. He wasn't ready to let her go... not yet. But Tamahome was right -- she should be in a bed. Nuriko nodded, "Show me the way."
Tamahome frowned, but did so. What was with Nuriko? Of all people, Nuriko knew how deeply he cared for Miaka and the last he'd checked, Nuriko liked men, specifically a certain Emperor. When had he decided that he was straight? Tamahome felt a surge of jealousy well up in his being, but quashed it. Nuriko had been a dear friend to him while Miaka had been gone. He wouldn't do something that would wreck that friendship... would he? He pointed Nuriko towards the room they would share and made some excuse to go outside so he could watch from the window.
He was extremely startled at what he saw. Nuriko laid Miaka down on the bed and tugged off her clothes, pulling on her pajamas with the ease of long familiarity. He tucked her into the covers and sat watching her with a tender smile on his face. He gently brushed Miaka's bangs off of her face and placed a small kiss on her forehead. Tamahome resisted the urge to throw open the door and demand to know what was going on. It was painfully obvious what was going on! Nuriko was after his beloved! He clenched his fists at his side. One thing was for certain, though -- he and Nuriko were going to have a long talk about this...
Nuriko stared down at Miaka, a sweet smile on his face at her quiet snoring. He brushed her bangs out of her eyes and pressed a light kiss to her brow. "Imouto-chan... You have no idea what it means to me to have you here and safe, to have you back where I can, once again, watch over you. I love you..." He pressed another light kiss to each of Miaka's cheeks and one to the tip of her upturned nose, then slowly stood, still watching Miaka's sleeping form. He counted each rise and fall of her chest, each precious breath, as if it were the most marvelous thing in the world. And perhaps it was...
Reluctantly, Nuriko walked away from the bed to go find his pack. He was startled by a growl from behind him. He spun to find Tamahome watching him with fire in his eyes. His own eyes widened in response, He looks like he's ready to kill me! He backed up a pace from the look in Tamahome's eyes. Tamahome growled again, "Outside, please? I want to talk to you..." With that last comment, he stalked away.
Nuriko swallowed heavily, knees shaking slightly. Where the hell had that come from and what was the matter with that stupid boy? He was acting, for all the world, like some kind of, of... Oh dear. Like some kind of jealous lover. He glanced in Miaka's direction as he walked towards the door. And how the hell do I explain this one without sounding completely insane?
Reaching the low porch, Nuriko quickly spotted the other seishi. Tamahome was gripping the wooden rail so tightly that it creaked. He didn't look all too happy... Warily, Nuriko approached the still and silent figure, "Tama-chan...? What's the matter?"
Tamahome rounded on him, slamming him back into the railing, "What's the matter?? How dare you ask me that! I see you fawning all over the woman I love and you ask me what's the matter?? I trusted you, Nuriko! But perhaps I shouldn't have! Sliding into my good graces just to steal Miaka out from under me... wasn't the Emperor enough for you?"
With a curse, Tamahome quickly decided that the shock and betrayal in the other boy's eyes couldn't be fake. He let up a little when Nuriko started to shake slightly. The older boy's mouth opened once or twice, finally producing a small whimper. He hung his head, his voice quiet, "Nothing I say will convince you otherwise, will it? You've already made up your mind that I could betray you like that. I suppose that I don't deserve your trust... but all the same, I thought I had it." His eyes when they finally rose from their lowered position, were extremely sad.
Tamahome stepped back a couple of feet. "I'm willing to listen to an explanation, if you have one." He thought he was being more than generous.
Nuriko snorted, shaking his head, slowly, "Not one that you would believe, Tamahome-kun." He turned, facing the forest, eyes gazing up at the stars. "Would it satisfy you to know that I look on Miaka as a sister and nothing more? Is that enough of an explanation?"
Tamahome walked over to stand next to him, though not quite willing to meet his eyes, yet. "Do you mean that? Really mean it?"
Nuriko nodded, "I do. Miaka means more to me than my own life, but I can't tell you why. It wouldn't be right. But believe me when I tell you that I would never get between you. She means too much to me to ruin her happiness that way. You, as well, Tamahome... you're one of the only friends I have. That friendship is also very important to me and having lived without its like for far too long, I would not betray it."
Tamahome let out a breath, "All right. If that's all that there is to this, then I apologize for misunderstanding your intentions."
Nuriko turned to go back inside, whispering, "Take care of her Tamahome-kun. In case some day, I can not." With those cryptic words, Nuriko went back to their room to go to sleep, leaving Tamahome feeling almost bruised by the conversation. Like so many things involving the feminine seishi, there was clearly more to this situation than met the eye. But just as surely as he knew that, Tamahome also knew that he would get no further explanation out of the older seishi. He would just have to bide his time... and wait.
And now for some chibi silliness!
Nuriko: Well... I think it's an improvement... I'm not sure I can tell anymore.
Berger: *sweatdrop* It's an improvement. Trust me.
Claude: Yeah, take it from us. We should know.
Tasuki: *twitch* Who the hell are they?
Nuriko: *sigh* *patpats the Tasuki* Claude and Berger -- new fic chibis. I think Renee-chan is almost as obsessed with them as she is with me these days. Ironically enough... I find I don't mind.
Tasuki: Well... if you're sure...
Nuriko: I am, except that at this rate, they'll get sex before we will.
Tasuki: *splutters*
Renee-chan: *furious blushing* Who said anything about anyone getting sex???
Nuriko: *twitch* OKNevermind.
Berger: *blinkblinks* What?
Nuriko: *stage whispers* Never piss off the fic author. Ever. Trust me.
