Holy. Crap. O_O

So... went to see Hair #9 in Hartford today with a friend from LI. ( And... we have a cut, because this became excessively babbly... as usual. You'd think I'd know better by now... *sigh* )

Anyway, we then went back to the car and drove over to the Elbow Room to meet zoicite and her friends for a wonderful dinner (they were going to the 8 o'clock show ^_^), then headed home. And my friend let me babble at her about Hair, the different casts, and Gavin Creel for three hours. That's how you know it's real friendship. ^_^

Then I got home and randomly churned out my first full Hair story since The Zorya. It was brought on by the Be-In scene -- specifically Josh's line as Claude's father, "My son doesn't like me... etc." -- and it's Pure. Smut. My G-d, it's as close as I'm ever going to get to a PWP. I guess once that wall comes crashing down, it crashes hard. O_O;;; And I've been promising them sex for a while. I'm actually happier with this one than I am with Nuriko and Tasuki's (Sorry guys! -.-;;;) but I think that's because I hooked into an imagery that I liked and was able to forgo a lot of the mechanics. *sweatdrop* In any case, I need to give it a good read-through before I post it, but it should go up sometime tomorrow unless I find something glaring.

Edit (4:21 AM): Ah! I remember when the kiss/almost kiss was! And it followed another scene I wanted to mention. I love what Paris and Steel do for Walking in Space. I've discussed it before. I noticed something new today. Gavin used to sit up to shotgun the joint to Will... Steel leans his entire body over Paris with one hand braced on Paris' chest to shotgun the joint to him while he's still laying on his back on the floor. *_* Then, when they sat up and Steel curled around Paris, that was when I thought I saw them kiss. But I was seeing it kind of from behind as I was to the left side of the stage, so now I'm not sure. :-P Still. LOVE THAT MOMENT.

OK, this time I really do think I'm done. O_o;;;

(And yes, I really did wake myself up out of a sound sleep from remembering that and actually pulled out my computer to type it up before I forgot. O_O I'm... gonna go back to sleep, now...)

Needing opinions to counterbalance my own paranoia

So, buried in the bowels of last night's obsessive posting was this little fact: I wrote Hair porn last night. Like... 3,537 words of Hair porn. All feverishly in one sitting like I always used to write Hair fics. O_O I mention this for two reasons:
1) I'm kind of in love with this story, like... embarrassingly in love with it. And it probably actually sucks. *sweatdrop* Sort of like how you feel for that bratty child that you should probably hate for all the trouble he/she causes you, but secretly just adore. Still, it's the first thing I've written in a while that I'm actually proud of, especially the fact that it wrote itself so easily... no struggle. Not to mention that I'm happy to have my Hair muse back... deliriously happy.
2) Which bring me to my other problem... this fic has two irritating quirks that I can not quite iron out... and it's giving me agita.

What are they? I'm glad you asked... ;)

First... I feel I have overused the word "desperate" in this story. It's appropriate in each instance that I've used it and no other word I can think of is quite right. I've cut the use of an adjective entirely in the places I can to cut down on the problem spots, but still...

(Huh... having done a search through the document, it seems that there are 8 uses of variations of the word "desperate." That's... not really so bad, is it? Maybe... maybe I'm just being obsessive and should leave it alone... O_o;;;)

Second... Thanks to the tour, I have a new, unexpected quandary. I wrote this fic using the descriptions of everyone that I've always used -- based off the OBRC, because my head!canon Claude will always look like Gavin, my head!canon Woof will always look like Bryce Ryness, and my Sheila like Caissie Levy... but it was Steel and Paris who inspired me to write this. So, it's totally stupid, but I almost feel like I cheated their versions of Claude and Berger out of something by not using their physical descriptions. Is that totally insane or does that make sense? *frets* Damn it. I hate when I overthink this sort of shit. *grumps*

I mean, Caren and Caissie's portrayals of Sheila and Bryce and Matt's portrayals of Woof are so very different that, depending on how the characters are acting in the story, I could totally pick a description and have it fit whichever actor's portrayal was most appropriate (almost always Caissie and Bryce, but that's partly defaulting)... but Steel and Paris' Berger and Claude are different. The more I see them, the more I'm falling in love with how they interact and I find that pulling into my head!canon for fic purposes. So... if I'm drawing off of them for inspiration, I feel like I should at least give the characters the appropriate physical descriptions... but I do not want to give up my head!canon Claude and Berger! *kick, scream, whinewhinewhine*

THIS IS FAR MORE THOUGHT THAN THIS PROBLEM SHOULD REQUIRE. *falls over* Anyone want to help me out and just tell me I'm being stupid? *sweatdrop*

[Hair] Give Up All Desires (1/1) -- NC-17 warning

So... yeah. You read that right. Apparently I'm writing smut, now. O_O;;; I wrote Tasuki and Nuriko their promised fic and they seemed fairly satisfied, so after seeing the Hair Tour this weekend (#9!) and the glorious love that is Steel and Paris' Berger and Claude... *deadpan* ...let's just say I was inspired. When I got home, I immediately had fic thoughts in my head, because holy cow, the scene before the Be-In... Josh and Paris were killing me yesterday. Killing. Me. O_O *coughs* So, I sat down to write that fic which was to be full of angsty goodness.

And, well... wrote this instead. It's still full of angsty goodness and it takes a few liberties with that scene... *coughs* ...but now there's at least porn to go along with the angst. As this is my first publicly posted NC-17 story... any input you guys have would be appreciated. Really. *blush* *runs away*

Title: Give Up All Desires
Fandom: Hair, the musical: 2009 Revival/Tour
Pairing: Claude/Berger
Rating: NC-17 -- please, if it's illegal to read this where you are... just don't, OK? If you do, I take no responsibility for it.
Word Count: 3,549
Warnings: Slash (and holy cow, I really mean it this time), angst

Disclaimer: Neither the musical nor the boys belong to me, if they did they'd be groping each other on sta--. *pause* *blinkblink* Huh. Look at that... they do. *eg* :D ((Hair was written by James Rado and Gerome Ragni with music by Galt MacDermot.))

Summary: Claude's eyes, now as dilated as Berger's, locked gazes with the younger boy, asking questions for which Berger had no answers, questions which Berger wouldn't even have thought to ask. And with Berger's each successive failure to respond, he felt Claude slip away from him a little more.

( Give Up All Desires )