Leaving So Soon?
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Re: (4/4)
Date: 2013-06-01 12:22 am (UTC)Loved this! My only quibble is that I think you need a little more (I can't believe I'm telling you that you need more words ;) ) to go from "mouthy little dicksplash" into the next paragraph to indicate that we've jumped into a memory. I thought there was a paragraph missing at first and had to read it twice, but once I realized where you were going there: APPROVED. Heartily.