An Exercise in Activism
Apr. 24th, 2011 12:23 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
eirenical*clears throat* So... I've been doing a lot of thinking lately. I've been out of work now for about 16 months and my life is wildly different from what it was when I first went out on disability. I no longer have my own apartment. I have a gorgeous niece whom I adore. I'm back in school to pursue a new career. I have lost almost 70 pounds. I have made new friends.
And it all started because of Hair.
Don't run away! Hear me out. I promise, this is not more Hair babble. Not really, anyway. ^_^ *coughs* As I was saying, it all started because of Hair. The first time I saw Hair was January 24, 2010, and I was in the beginnings of a downward spiral of apathy and depression. I was just starting to understand that my back injury wasn't going to go away in a matter of weeks, that it might, in fact, never go away again. And I was just starting to see exactly how horrifically that could screw up everything I'd worked for for the past 30 years. It sparked a not-so-insignificant amount of panic and a fair amount of wallowing in self-pity. Add in to that the guilt... what guilt, you say? The guilt of admitting that I was relieved that I might never practice veterinary medicine, again. There, I said it. I was not happy in my chosen career. I hadn't been in years, possibly ever. I'd spent decades of my life and thousands of my parents' dollars to achieve a career that I was not happy in. And I wanted to quit and couldn't see a way out.
Enter Hair.
I sat in that theatre and I looked up at Claude on that stage and damned near burst into tears... because I knew exactly how he felt. To feel so trapped in the life that had been laid out for you (even if in my case, I'd done it to my own damned self) that sometimes it seemed like invisibility would be preferable to living with the consequences. To know how desperately you wanted an escape, but to be so terrified to look for one that you couldn't even see the obvious one staring you in the face. I looked up on that stage and I saw myself... and I saw something else, too.
So, I didn't like my job. So, my back hurt. So, I was overweight.
...So what?
I had a disability check (small though it is). I had insurance. My back would get better. I could always lose weight. How on Earth could I compare my circumstances to Claude's? He'd been drafted to fight in a war and he was going to die. I was a whiny little brat in comparison. Watching that show, I realized two very important things:
1) There are bigger problems out there than mine. Compared to issues like the AIDS crisis, marriage equality, bullying in schools, the economy, the wars in the Middle East... my problem didn't even register as a blip on the radar. So, how selfish was I to be so absorbed in them?
2) If I wasn't happy, no one could make me happy but me. Claude had everyone he cared about struggling to put a smile on his face, to give him a reason to live and ultimately, he didn't... because he just gave up. I wasn't going to let that be me. If I wasn't happy, I was the only one who could change that. If there was something about myself that I didn't like, it was up to me to do something about it.
And there was one final thing that I discovered, not that day, but a few weeks later... I had a voice. And I wanted to use it.
You see, the original revival cast of Hair were something unbelievably unique and special. They became that show. They took its message of involvement and activism completely to heart and carried it out into the streets of New York. Love your fellow man (and woman). Get involved. If you don't like the world... change it.
I wanted to be a part of that change, but I was still afraid. I spammed my friends for months with links to sign petitions -- support marriage equality, save the wolves in Alaska, rescue the puppies from this horrible puppy mill. I did everything on paper that I could to "get involved." I wasn't ready to do more.
Enter Hair, again. Everywhere the touring cast goes, they end up holding a Be-In to raise money, usually for Broadway Impact, most recently to help the victims of Japan's series of disasters. I love that. I really do. And on the heels of all of that, Broadway Impact held an event to film pop-up videos in support of marriage equality. I wanted to go, but, ironically... I was in Hershey, seeing Hair. O_o;;; I felt like I'd missed an opportunity and part of me started seething. "Just another excuse,![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
rchan. Great job. I bet no one even noticed."
Well... I noticed. And it bothered me. What it all boils down to (for those of you who skipped the cut ^_~) is this: All of my big talk about getting involved for the last year+... it was all just lip service. I hadn't really done anything. Just sat at my computer and signed petitions. I'd stifled my own voice because I was afraid to use it alone. Enter Hair again. Gavin Creel (the Broadway Revival's first Claude), recently reminded us all that AIDS Walk New York is happening soon and this year, Broadway Impact is going to have a team. I watched him starting to raise money and boggled at how quickly people jumped on board to help. Then again... he really is that awesome. ^_~ I checked out AWNY's page and looked at the route map. I realized that it couldn't be more than 5 or 6 miles. I could do that. It wasn't so much, really. It was almost too easy.
I could do that. I can do that. And if I only raised $25 from my own mother... well, that's $25 going to a damned good cause. So, I signed up. To get involved. To help in whatever small way that I can. To do something to help someone else. To take the next step in creating my own happiness.
To use my voice.
To change the world.
So, I'm going to take a chance. I set an extremely modest fundraising goal for myself and I'd like to blast it the hell out of the water. So, I'm reaching out to all the social networks that I frequent and even risking a connect between LJ and real life to do it. If you think you can help out, even if it's only $5 or $1... please let me know. I'll send you a message with a link to the donation page. I'll put that faith out there in you not to abuse it.
And as an added incentive, I'm even willing to offer a reciprocal gift of sorts. How about we'll call it... a short fanfic of your choosing in any fandom for which I have written or am currently writing? Hell, I'll even consider revisiting Sailor Moon for a cause this worthy. ^_^ Not sure I write in a fandom? Ask. I may even be willing to consider a new one for this. ;) To be gifted to whoever among my LJ crowd donates the most money (...or any money, if I want to be realistic ^_~) towards my goal.
Sound like something you might be interested in? Let me know. We'll talk. ^_^
Thanks for listening.
And it all started because of Hair.
Don't run away! Hear me out. I promise, this is not more Hair babble. Not really, anyway. ^_^ *coughs* As I was saying, it all started because of Hair. The first time I saw Hair was January 24, 2010, and I was in the beginnings of a downward spiral of apathy and depression. I was just starting to understand that my back injury wasn't going to go away in a matter of weeks, that it might, in fact, never go away again. And I was just starting to see exactly how horrifically that could screw up everything I'd worked for for the past 30 years. It sparked a not-so-insignificant amount of panic and a fair amount of wallowing in self-pity. Add in to that the guilt... what guilt, you say? The guilt of admitting that I was relieved that I might never practice veterinary medicine, again. There, I said it. I was not happy in my chosen career. I hadn't been in years, possibly ever. I'd spent decades of my life and thousands of my parents' dollars to achieve a career that I was not happy in. And I wanted to quit and couldn't see a way out.
Enter Hair.
I sat in that theatre and I looked up at Claude on that stage and damned near burst into tears... because I knew exactly how he felt. To feel so trapped in the life that had been laid out for you (even if in my case, I'd done it to my own damned self) that sometimes it seemed like invisibility would be preferable to living with the consequences. To know how desperately you wanted an escape, but to be so terrified to look for one that you couldn't even see the obvious one staring you in the face. I looked up on that stage and I saw myself... and I saw something else, too.
So, I didn't like my job. So, my back hurt. So, I was overweight.
...So what?
I had a disability check (small though it is). I had insurance. My back would get better. I could always lose weight. How on Earth could I compare my circumstances to Claude's? He'd been drafted to fight in a war and he was going to die. I was a whiny little brat in comparison. Watching that show, I realized two very important things:
1) There are bigger problems out there than mine. Compared to issues like the AIDS crisis, marriage equality, bullying in schools, the economy, the wars in the Middle East... my problem didn't even register as a blip on the radar. So, how selfish was I to be so absorbed in them?
2) If I wasn't happy, no one could make me happy but me. Claude had everyone he cared about struggling to put a smile on his face, to give him a reason to live and ultimately, he didn't... because he just gave up. I wasn't going to let that be me. If I wasn't happy, I was the only one who could change that. If there was something about myself that I didn't like, it was up to me to do something about it.
And there was one final thing that I discovered, not that day, but a few weeks later... I had a voice. And I wanted to use it.
You see, the original revival cast of Hair were something unbelievably unique and special. They became that show. They took its message of involvement and activism completely to heart and carried it out into the streets of New York. Love your fellow man (and woman). Get involved. If you don't like the world... change it.
I wanted to be a part of that change, but I was still afraid. I spammed my friends for months with links to sign petitions -- support marriage equality, save the wolves in Alaska, rescue the puppies from this horrible puppy mill. I did everything on paper that I could to "get involved." I wasn't ready to do more.
Enter Hair, again. Everywhere the touring cast goes, they end up holding a Be-In to raise money, usually for Broadway Impact, most recently to help the victims of Japan's series of disasters. I love that. I really do. And on the heels of all of that, Broadway Impact held an event to film pop-up videos in support of marriage equality. I wanted to go, but, ironically... I was in Hershey, seeing Hair. O_o;;; I felt like I'd missed an opportunity and part of me started seething. "Just another excuse,
rchan. Great job. I bet no one even noticed."Well... I noticed. And it bothered me. What it all boils down to (for those of you who skipped the cut ^_~) is this: All of my big talk about getting involved for the last year+... it was all just lip service. I hadn't really done anything. Just sat at my computer and signed petitions. I'd stifled my own voice because I was afraid to use it alone. Enter Hair again. Gavin Creel (the Broadway Revival's first Claude), recently reminded us all that AIDS Walk New York is happening soon and this year, Broadway Impact is going to have a team. I watched him starting to raise money and boggled at how quickly people jumped on board to help. Then again... he really is that awesome. ^_~ I checked out AWNY's page and looked at the route map. I realized that it couldn't be more than 5 or 6 miles. I could do that. It wasn't so much, really. It was almost too easy.
I could do that. I can do that. And if I only raised $25 from my own mother... well, that's $25 going to a damned good cause. So, I signed up. To get involved. To help in whatever small way that I can. To do something to help someone else. To take the next step in creating my own happiness.
To use my voice.
To change the world.
So, I'm going to take a chance. I set an extremely modest fundraising goal for myself and I'd like to blast it the hell out of the water. So, I'm reaching out to all the social networks that I frequent and even risking a connect between LJ and real life to do it. If you think you can help out, even if it's only $5 or $1... please let me know. I'll send you a message with a link to the donation page. I'll put that faith out there in you not to abuse it.
And as an added incentive, I'm even willing to offer a reciprocal gift of sorts. How about we'll call it... a short fanfic of your choosing in any fandom for which I have written or am currently writing? Hell, I'll even consider revisiting Sailor Moon for a cause this worthy. ^_^ Not sure I write in a fandom? Ask. I may even be willing to consider a new one for this. ;) To be gifted to whoever among my LJ crowd donates the most money (...or any money, if I want to be realistic ^_~) towards my goal.
Sound like something you might be interested in? Let me know. We'll talk. ^_^
Thanks for listening.
