First of all, I don't mind at ALL. And thank you. :)
As for what kind of therapist she is -- I don't think she's anything yet. I'm stuck with the campus help center and the therapists are externs. Thus the "she's really green" thing. Because she is. And I knew that, but I just don't have $80-$200 to shell out to someone every week for therapy. (In addition to funds just being too tight for that, the last time I did bite the bullet and do it anyway, I landed with someone who was convinced asexuality was a choice and the root of my problems. And no other therapist I've talked to is willing to let me meet them before starting therapy, except over the phone and just NO, THANK YOU.)
As for medication... I don't think I can even touch that one. When I say that's a deep-seated primal terror, I mean it. It's irrational and unreasoning and even the thought of it makes my heart do the racing thing. -.-;;; And changing my diet isn't going to happen, either. (Again, I know myself.) Adding ANY restrictions on to the multitude I already have would freeze me up and stop me functioning (and WOW does that sound freakishly overblown and whiny or what?).
Anyway, I think that advice about prioritizing is good advice. Because the punchline is that I don't know how to untangle the things. Like... the ADHD is at the root of ALL of my school-related (and all the rest of my, except the social bit) anxiety, which is the major problem I've got right now. And on the one hand, I'd really, really like to fix that. But I also know myself and what I can and can't do. And I know that as long as the system I have, dysfunctional as it is, is "working" with only myself suffering, I'm going to keep using it until it isn't, especially if the alternative is harder.
And I have the disadvantage of being a veterinarian. And the thought of doing nothing but managing symptoms when the root disease is sitting there untreated makes me massively twitchy, even though I know it's not the same thing. But it sounds like she's not capable of doing anything about that root disease, so that leaves me with the only choice being manage the symptoms, and that goes very much against the grain for me. (Even though managing my anxiety would, I'm sure, be a useful skill to learn for its own sake.)
I JUST DON'T KNOW. -.-;;;
I feel like I'm in this constant spin where I know I need help, and I know I'm not happy, but I don't even know what I need help FOR. And that's where I get stuck :(
...and I'm going to shut up now before this gets any more incoherent. Sorry. -.-;;;
ETA: Sorry, forgot -- I did tell her when I'd tried things and that they hadn't worked and that I thought she was wrong and that was when her answer became, "well you really should see a psychiatrist about that and seriously think about medication" and "it's a matter of willpower and you just have to decide to pick something and try it." Which was, as you can imagine, not helpful. :-P
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As for what kind of therapist she is -- I don't think she's anything yet. I'm stuck with the campus help center and the therapists are externs. Thus the "she's really green" thing. Because she is. And I knew that, but I just don't have $80-$200 to shell out to someone every week for therapy. (In addition to funds just being too tight for that, the last time I did bite the bullet and do it anyway, I landed with someone who was convinced asexuality was a choice and the root of my problems. And no other therapist I've talked to is willing to let me meet them before starting therapy, except over the phone and just NO, THANK YOU.)
As for medication... I don't think I can even touch that one. When I say that's a deep-seated primal terror, I mean it. It's irrational and unreasoning and even the thought of it makes my heart do the racing thing. -.-;;; And changing my diet isn't going to happen, either. (Again, I know myself.) Adding ANY restrictions on to the multitude I already have would freeze me up and stop me functioning (and WOW does that sound freakishly overblown and whiny or what?).
Anyway, I think that advice about prioritizing is good advice. Because the punchline is that I don't know how to untangle the things. Like... the ADHD is at the root of ALL of my school-related (and all the rest of my, except the social bit) anxiety, which is the major problem I've got right now. And on the one hand, I'd really, really like to fix that. But I also know myself and what I can and can't do. And I know that as long as the system I have, dysfunctional as it is, is "working" with only myself suffering, I'm going to keep using it until it isn't, especially if the alternative is harder.
And I have the disadvantage of being a veterinarian. And the thought of doing nothing but managing symptoms when the root disease is sitting there untreated makes me massively twitchy, even though I know it's not the same thing. But it sounds like she's not capable of doing anything about that root disease, so that leaves me with the only choice being manage the symptoms, and that goes very much against the grain for me. (Even though managing my anxiety would, I'm sure, be a useful skill to learn for its own sake.)
I JUST DON'T KNOW. -.-;;;
I feel like I'm in this constant spin where I know I need help, and I know I'm not happy, but I don't even know what I need help FOR. And that's where I get stuck :(
...and I'm going to shut up now before this gets any more incoherent. Sorry. -.-;;;
ETA: Sorry, forgot -- I did tell her when I'd tried things and that they hadn't worked and that I thought she was wrong and that was when her answer became, "well you really should see a psychiatrist about that and seriously think about medication" and "it's a matter of willpower and you just have to decide to pick something and try it." Which was, as you can imagine, not helpful. :-P